I'm a Democrat from Texas, which is pretty damn rare. There's more gay Sasquatch than there are Democrats in Texas. We don't get a lot of coverage. We're actually kind of like the team that plays against the Globetrotters.
Dad hates that I'm a stand-up comic, but it's his fault. He did the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life: did the splits getting out of the shower. Let that sink in. Fat man, wet floor -- people, I can't write a joke better than that.