I was at the doctor this week. He says, 'Joe, you should really try and be the perfect weight.' So I looked behind him on the chart, and it turns out, I'm still within the parameters of being the perfect weight. Apparently, I'm the wrong height.
He called me and told me to come in for a colonoscopy. Now, I didn't know what it was, so I showed up... I don't know what happened after I passed out, but he bought me this ring I'm wearing right here. I think we're dating now.