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I'm a former hippie; I did drugs back when they were healthy. The only time I ever did LSD was at Disney World. I didn't go there -- it came to me. I was Snow White.
I read my morning papers on the computer. It's just hard to hold the computer on the toilet 'cause I don't have a laptop.
Some friends of mine came to visit me from Holland, and they said, 'We would like to go to Harlem.' I said, 'Well you know, the Dutch influence has waned over the years.'
The British don't want to be embarrassed about anything. They could have their pants around their ankles, and they're going, 'Do you feel a draft?'
I believe in capital punishment, and since I was a former teacher, I believe in starting it at the eighth grade level.
I am white trash and proud. I was raised in an upwardly mobile home, so I prefer to be called trash du blanc.
You know, the thing about your family is you're connected forever by blood relation to a group of folks who are really not your kind of people.
I'm not gonna tell you how old I am. Let's just say it's somewhere between 30 and a Wal-Mart greeter.
I was raised by people that wear lime green polyester pants and white vinyl shoes, and I thought that this was endemic to my race 'til I saw a black man wearing red polyester pants and white vinyl shoes. Then I realized -- bad taste knows no color barrier.
My dad looks at me, and he says, 'So now, so now, what is it that the two of you do? What do you do?' And I said, 'Well, you know, Dad, all those things you really wish Mom would do, but she won't? That's what we do.'
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