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I got double pneumonia. Do you guys even know what that is? I didn't. But here's the deal -- see, apparently, pneumonia is when one of your lungs fills up with fluid, and double pneumonia is when God hates you.
I got some advice if there's any single dudes in the room. If you ever have to go in for surgery, for whatever reason, they want to put a lot of hot chicks involved in the surgery process. There's always, like, hot surgical interns running around,...
They ask you dumb stuff on job interviews, like, 'What do you think you can bring to the company, Jesse?' 'I got a stapler. Other than that, I don't really have much. That's why I was looking for a job. I kind of thought you guys might have some kind of work-for-paycheck exchange program.'
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