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I don't think I could be gay. I just like girls too much. Man, girls are neat. I'm gonna get one, I think.
Sex is like a math problem to me: I work real hard on it for a few minutes, and in the end, I get it all wrong, always leave a remainder.
My buddy Brian had a kid a few years ago, and he comes to me this summer and he goes, 'Man, my son just flunked the third grade. I don't know how to tell my kid he's going to be held back a year.' I was like, 'I guess you better tell him slowly so the little dumb ass will get it.'
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