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What the hell is a 'time out'? When I was growing up, we had black outs.
The other day I was flying in, I had Eric Estrada on my flight. And I had to say something -- I said, 'Hey, you're the guy from "Chips."' He said, 'Yes. Would you like another drink before we land?'
I saw a license plate yesterday that said 'I Miss New York,' so I smashed their window and stole their radio.
I want to take one of those English as a Second Language courses -- just go in and blow everybody away on the first day.
I'm a different type of comic. I tend to start slow and then just kind of -- urinate on myself.
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