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The last job I had, I had to wear this badge around my neck all day -- like, a laminated badge. It's like a backstage pass to the crappiest concert ever invented.
Ever been at your job and you get so bored and sick of doing it that you just go to the bathroom to hang out? You don't even need to go. You just want a change of scenery for a little bit.
You can be mean to ugly girls. They don't have feelings.
My last girlfriend used to call my penis what I thought was a big, powerful, scary nickname. She was calling it a 'weapon of mass destruction.' Sounded cool, but then I found out she was calling it that because she thought my penis was really hard to find.
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