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If you ever see me at a boat show or at a car show, blow my head off.
If you ever see me getting beaten up by the police, put the video camera down and help me.
Gay bashing is guys going, 'I hate you 'cause you're a fag, and you're a queer, and you're kind of attractive, and I'd like to f**k you, but I'm in the closet, so I'll just beat you up and jerk off in my Trans Am on the way home.'
I'm all for hunters owning guns. That increases the odds of two rednecks blowing each other's heads off.
They said, 'Hey, you gonna see the Stones?' And I said, 'If I wanna see an aging queen prance around to oldies for two and a half hours, I'll rent a Richard Simmons video.'
I didn't realize they were filming down there' -- that was her defense, right? You know, nothing's spontaneous in a major motion picture. They'd have to get a gaffer in, they'd have to light her vagina, they'd have to lay down dolly track -- 'And sparkle!'
For a day and a half, the National Guard was here, and they didn't go to work. Do you remember why? No bullets. I found it really hard to believe that that was the same crackerjack unit that Dan Quayle once belonged to.
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