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Some schmuck must have been sitting there going, 'Let me get this straight, honey. I can't sleep with anybody else ever again for the rest of my life, and if this doesn't work out, you get to keep all my stuff?'
I watched Warner Brothers cartoons when I was a kid. I never thought about taking a firecracker and shoving it up a cat's butt because Tweety Bird did it to Sylvester.
I don't know if you wanna wear your fuchsia with the persimmons socks and the periwinkle shoes with the avocado hat. What are you -- half human, half crayon?
So I go back to the tampon aisle to try to figure out what size she wears. And it's not like a guy can take an educated guess 'cause it's not like they come in normal human being Earth sizes -- like small, medium or large -- where a guy can go:...
You could pick out a Bozo costume for a guy and tell him how great his butt looks in the big red and white stripes, and he'll wear it: 'You're right, it looks good. Maybe I'll get the big shoes and the hair.'
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