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I never dated my cousin. I slept with her, but I never took her anywhere.
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I'm reading where the Japanese said that Americans are all stupid and illiterate and lazy. Well, I didn't really read it. I saw it on television. I was lying there on the couch. Well, I would have changed the channel, but I had to get up and walk...
Stupidity isn't necessarily confined to any geographical location. I don't think the South has the market cornered on stupidity. They may have refined it into an art form, but it's alive everywhere.
The same federal government that makes it mandatory to explain seatbelts to people will not enact any sort of gun control legislation. They don't trust us with seatbelts, but handguns -- that's a whole other thing.
They explain to you on an airplane how a seat belt works. Ladies and gentlemen, this is America. This is 1992. If you don't know how a seatbelt works by now, you don't deserve to survive the crash. We don't need you. It's time to thin the herd.
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