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A friend of mine just died. He was 84 years old, died broke. At the funeral, everyone said, 'What a shame, he died penniless.' I don't know -- to me that sounds like perfect timing on a hell of a budget.
Sex is so weird now. Remember the old days when all you needed for safe sex was a padded headboard?
My dad was Catholic, my mom was Baptist -- which was great 'cause at church we got bread and chicken.
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