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I know I'm not buying anything, and you know I'm not buying anything, but I want to know how much the sh*t I'm not buying costs.
I priced a pair of alligator shoes at $2,000. That's $1,000 a foot, $200 a toe -- add it up.
This is my personal favorite: 'You can't control fate. When it's your time, you've got to go.' Yeah, well what if it's the bitch sitting next to me's time? I've got to leave because this heifer's number is up?
For a $16,000 watch, that second hand ought to act like a damn second hand. For $16,000 that hand ought to jump off the watch and give you a high-five when your team makes a damn basket.
Nowadays, you can't let your kids watch TV. You don't know what's happening -- a breast might pop out, somebody might lick somebody. It's like, 'Hey, turn off that damn Disney Channel.'
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