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If a girl breaks up with me, I want her to just die, just be dead. Not 'cause I hate her so much as it's just easier for when my friends go, 'Hey, what happened?' 'Oh, she's dead. I'd still be with her, but she's dead. What can I do? She was loving me, but she's dead.'
Bar mitzvah was a good day in my life -- made more money that day than I think I'll ever make again.
1. Hijack wheelchairs and speed around the hallways.
2. Get a running start, then tackle people.
3. Wax the floors really well in a wing where there are many old people, and sit yourself down and watch the walkers fly!
4. Get the...
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