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You just can't make up random information and say it sarcastically and have it make sense. You can't just be like, 'I went out on a date with a Jewish girl. She was more rude than a wolfcat -- an animal I've made up and decided is rude.'
I'm an honest guy. I was on the beach on the way up here, and I saw these two ugly people. I went up to them and said, 'Hey, you're not gonna have any kids, are ya? You gotta think ahead.'
I was sweating like a beach full of albinos.
Yo' mama so old, I slapped her on the back and her tits fell off!
Yo' mama so stupid, she got locked in a supermarket and starved to death!
A man with greasy jeans, a flannel shirt, and work boots approaches the headwaiter in an elegant restaurant.
The man says, "Hey buddy, where's your crapper?"
The headwaiter calmly replies, "Go down the hall and turn left. When you...
The man says, "Hey buddy, where's your crapper?"
The headwaiter calmly replies, "Go down the hall and turn left. When you...
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she told everyone that she was "illegitimate" because she couldn't read.
Q: Why do blondes smile when lightning flashes?
A: Because they think their picture is being taken.
A: Because they think their picture is being taken.
Q: Why does New Jersey have all the toxic waste dumps and California have all the lawyers?
A: Because New Jersey got first pick.
A: Because New Jersey got first pick.
Tell Yo' Mama to stop changing the color of her lipstick -- I got a rainbow on my d**k.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she tried to blow out a light bulb.
Q: What's the difference between a pair of new jeans and Yo' Mama?
A: New jeans are always tight.
A: New jeans are always tight.
A dentist tells a blonde that she needs braces.
The blonde says, "Why? I can walk just fine."
When the dentist explains that braces are for her teeth, she replies, "But my teeth don't walk."
The blonde says, "Why? I can walk just fine."
When the dentist explains that braces are for her teeth, she replies, "But my teeth don't walk."
The phone rings at the military motor pool and an authoritative voice demands to know how many vehicles are operational.
Paddy answers, "We've got 12 trucks, 10 utilities, three staff cars and that Bentley the fat-assed colonel drives...
Paddy answers, "We've got 12 trucks, 10 utilities, three staff cars and that Bentley the fat-assed colonel drives...
Q: What did the blonde do when she couldn't afford a personalized license plate?
A: She changed her name to JKM345.
A: She changed her name to JKM345.
