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-- In prison, you spend the majority of your time in an 8' X 10' cell. At work, you spend most of your time in a 6' X 8' cubicle.
-- In prison, you get three meals a day. At work, you get 30 minutes for a meal you buy or bring...
-- In prison, you get three meals a day. At work, you get 30 minutes for a meal you buy or bring...
Jokes Tagged:
work/office (325)
Q: How do you know when it's going to be a good day at work?
A: When you see your boss' picture on the side of the milk carton.
A: When you see your boss' picture on the side of the milk carton.
Jokes Tagged:
work/office (325)
Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing who's to blame for a missed deadline or a failed project.
Chainsaw Consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean...
Chainsaw Consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean...
Jokes Tagged:
work/office (325)
- Stephen's Sound Advice - Summer Jobs(4:04)
- Interns learn valuable job skills like getting coffee, fetching copy paper, and moisturizing a TV host.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: work/office (398), Stephen's Sound Advice (21)
-- I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
-- I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
-- I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
-- I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
-- It...
-- I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
-- I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
-- I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
-- It...
After 35 years, mailman George decides to retire. On his last day, he makes his usual rounds.
When he arrives at the first house, the whole family comes out, congratulates him, and sends him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.
At...
When he arrives at the first house, the whole family comes out, congratulates him, and sends him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.
At...
I'm not a good eight-hour worker because I don't think you should have to be around people that long that you don't know. That's not a good thing. You be like, 'I don't know these people. Why am I here this long? I don't think it takes eight hours to do nothing. We should not be around each other this long.'
Here's an example of something you never say at a job interview: 'Can I have my resume back? It's my only copy.'
I wasn't always a comic. Before I did this, I was a house painter for five years. Five years -- I didn't think I'd ever finish that house.
It's been a couple of years since I actually worked in an office, so I thought I should do something to prepare to get back into the typing, filing and phone answering, and what not. So what I did was I had a friend of mine go with me down to the...
You know what's cool about the day job? Me either.
Stand-up comedy -- I love this job, and I gotta tell you, folks -- knock wood -- it's been working. 'Cause I was one of those kind of people, even when I had a regular job, I couldn't even call in sick right. You know, I was like, 'Hello? Yeah, I can't come in today. I have scurvy.'
Mother: "Come on, Victor, you have to get out of bed or you'll be late for school."
Victor: "Mom, do I have to? All the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me, too."
Mother: "Yes, you do."
Victor: "Give me one good...
Victor: "Mom, do I have to? All the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me, too."
Mother: "Yes, you do."
Victor: "Give me one good...
I worked at Zany's Comedy Club in Nashville, and I wasn't getting a lot of laughs. People weren't laughing, so after one show, the club owner said, 'Mitch, you're not getting any laughs. You're gonna have to vacuum the club.' He made me vacuum....
What do you think the employee discount is at the Dollar Store? Do you think it's 'just take it'?
Two young men with equal qualifications apply for the same job. In order to determine which individual to hire, the manager gives them a written test.
Both men score nine out of 10 on the test; however, the manager decides to go with the...
Both men score nine out of 10 on the test; however, the manager decides to go with the...
There was this woman that I used to work with, and every Monday -- didn't talk to me during the week -- but every Monday she'd say, 'How was your weekend? How's your weekend?' And then I said, 'Oh, not good. I accidentally killed a man.' And she said, 'Oh, you should have called me! We went antiquing.'
