-- I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. -- I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care. -- I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. -- I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. -- It...
I'm not a good eight-hour worker because I don't think you should have to be around people that long that you don't know. That's not a good thing. You be like, 'I don't know these people. Why am I here this long? I don't think it takes eight hours to do nothing. We should not be around each other this long.'
It's been a couple of years since I actually worked in an office, so I thought I should do something to prepare to get back into the typing, filing and phone answering, and what not. So what I did was I had a friend of mine go with me down to the...
Stand-up comedy -- I love this job, and I gotta tell you, folks -- knock wood -- it's been working. 'Cause I was one of those kind of people, even when I had a regular job, I couldn't even call in sick right. You know, I was like, 'Hello? Yeah, I can't come in today. I have scurvy.'
I worked at Zany's Comedy Club in Nashville, and I wasn't getting a lot of laughs. People weren't laughing, so after one show, the club owner said, 'Mitch, you're not getting any laughs. You're gonna have to vacuum the club.' He made me vacuum....
There was this woman that I used to work with, and every Monday -- didn't talk to me during the week -- but every Monday she'd say, 'How was your weekend? How's your weekend?' And then I said, 'Oh, not good. I accidentally killed a man.' And she said, 'Oh, you should have called me! We went antiquing.'