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Q: What goes black, white, black, white, black, white, black, white?
A: A nun falling down stairs.
A: A nun falling down stairs.
Jokes Tagged:
religion (552)
Jesus and Moses are walking along the beach when Moses says, "You know what? I'm going to try and part the ocean again." He throws his hands in the air and, magically, the ocean parts.
Jesus sees this and says, "I'm going to try to walk on...
Jesus sees this and says, "I'm going to try to walk on...
Jokes Tagged:
religion (552)
The three wise men visit Joseph and Mary in the stable to see the newborn son. One extremely tall wise man hits his head on the door frame and exclaims, "Jesus Christ!"
Joseph looks at Mary and says, "Write that down -- that's better than Clyde."
Joseph looks at Mary and says, "Write that down -- that's better than Clyde."
Jokes Tagged:
religion (552)
A stupid guy dies and goes to Heaven.
The gatekeeper of Heaven says, "Heaven is getting too full, so you have to pass this quiz to get in. First question: which two days of the week begin with T?"
The guy replies, "That's easy. Today...
The gatekeeper of Heaven says, "Heaven is getting too full, so you have to pass this quiz to get in. First question: which two days of the week begin with T?"
The guy replies, "That's easy. Today...
Jokes Tagged:
religion (552)
A preacher concludes his service by saying, "Next Sunday I am going to preach on the subject of liars. And in preparation for my discourse, I would like you all to read the 17th chapter of Mark."
The following Sunday, the preacher says,...
The following Sunday, the preacher says,...
Jokes Tagged:
religion (552)
Q: Why did everyone in Minneapolis quit going to church and lose their faith?
A: There are a dozen or so pages in the Bible about St. Paul, but nothing about Minneapolis.
A: There are a dozen or so pages in the Bible about St. Paul, but nothing about Minneapolis.
Jokes Tagged:
religion (552)
A woman went to her priest with a problem. "Father, I have two female parrots, and they only know how to say one thing. All they ever say is, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?' "
"That's terrible!" exclaimed the priest. "But I think...
Jokes Tagged:
religion (552)
A Jewish temple is looking for a way to get the congregation to go to temple on Saturdays.
When one of the presidents of the congregation was at a comedy show, he saw a hypnotist.
He thought, if he can hypnotize these people, he could probably...
Jokes Tagged:
religion (552)
A radical Muslim cleric walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll it be?"
The cleric responds, "A gruesome puddle of your filthy infidel blood!"
Jokes Tagged:
religion (552)
Did you hear the one about the Pope and the smokin'-hot hooker?
Despite the strumpet's aggressive offers to fellate him, the Pontiff maintained his holiness and prayed nightly for her soul.
Jokes Tagged:
religion (552)
A woman walks into the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.
"What denomination?" asks the clerk.
"Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well, give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic and one Methodist."
"What denomination?" asks the clerk.
"Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well, give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic and one Methodist."
Jokes Tagged:
religion (552)
Jokes Tagged:
religion (552)
Don't get me wrong, I believe in God. I just don't trust anybody who works for him.
I get no sleep -- Jehovah's Witnesses always knocking on my door. The worst part about it is that I live right next to the temple, so I'm their first stop. I let them in, I talk to them; I don't care. One time I let this dude in, it was around...
You know what you were doing while [the priest] was doing his little peace rap? You were looking around for the people whose hands you were not going to shake. This was church, and you're like, 'No, f**k that guy.'
Peace' is when you would shake the hands of all the people around you. The only reason you knew 'peace' was coming was 'cause the priest would say, 'Peace,' like five times, rapid fire. You'd hear him; he'd be, like, 'And the peaceful disciples...
I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good -- stop.'
At the Last Supper, how come no one sat at the other side of the table?
And I said to him, 'Jeez, Jeezy boy, I feel like no one will ever accept me.' And Jesus looked at me and said, 'You know what my theory is -- accept me or go to hell.'
If you have the Old Testament at home, if you flip the corner pages, you can see Jesus riding a horse.
