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A Jewish temple is looking for a way to get the congregation to go to temple on Saturdays. When one of the presidents of the congregation was at a comedy show, he saw a hypnotist. He thought, if he can hypnotize these people, he could probably...
Jokes Tagged:
religion (506)
A radical Muslim cleric walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll it be?"
The cleric responds, "A gruesome puddle of your filthy infidel blood!"
Jokes Tagged:
religion (506)
Did you hear the one about the Pope and the smokin'-hot hooker?
Despite the strumpet's aggressive offers to fellate him, the Pontiff maintained his holiness and prayed nightly for her soul.
Jokes Tagged:
religion (506)
A woman walks into the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.
"What denomination?" asks the clerk.
"Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well, give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic and one Methodist."
"What denomination?" asks the clerk.
"Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well, give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic and one Methodist."
Jokes Tagged:
religion (506)
Jokes Tagged:
religion (506)
Jesus and Moses are walking along the beach when Moses says, "You know what? I'm going to try and part the ocean again." He throws his hands in the air and, magically, the ocean parts.
Jesus sees this and says, "I'm going to try to walk on...
Jesus sees this and says, "I'm going to try to walk on...
Jokes Tagged:
religion (506)
The three wise men visit Joseph and Mary in the stable to see the newborn son. One extremely tall wise man hits his head on the door frame and exclaims, "Jesus Christ!"
Joseph looks at Mary and says, "Write that down -- that's better than Clyde."
Joseph looks at Mary and says, "Write that down -- that's better than Clyde."
Jokes Tagged:
religion (506)
A stupid guy dies and goes to Heaven.
The gatekeeper of Heaven says, "Heaven is getting too full, so you have to pass this quiz to get in. First question: which two days of the week begin with T?"
The guy replies, "That's easy. Today...
The gatekeeper of Heaven says, "Heaven is getting too full, so you have to pass this quiz to get in. First question: which two days of the week begin with T?"
The guy replies, "That's easy. Today...
Jokes Tagged:
religion (506)
A preacher concludes his service by saying, "Next Sunday I am going to preach on the subject of liars. And in preparation for my discourse, I would like you all to read the 17th chapter of Mark."
The following Sunday, the preacher says,...
The following Sunday, the preacher says,...
Jokes Tagged:
religion (506)
Q: Why did everyone in Minneapolis quit going to church and lose their faith?
A: There are a dozen or so pages in the Bible about St. Paul, but nothing about Minneapolis.
A: There are a dozen or so pages in the Bible about St. Paul, but nothing about Minneapolis.
Jokes Tagged:
religion (506)
Q: What goes black, white, black, white, black, white, black, white?
A: A nun falling down stairs.
A: A nun falling down stairs.
Jokes Tagged:
religion (506)
- Item of the Week - Prayer(0:26)
- Fifty-seven percent of those who go to church pray that the hot number in accounting doesn't know about their family.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: religion (770), survey (3)
- Sign Off - Devil's Tricks(00:20)
- One of the greatest tricks the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: religion (770), sign off (358)
- Balrog(1:13)
- CNN confuses Satan with the Balrog from Lord of the Rings.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: religion (770), Lord of the Rings (34)
Seventy-two virgins -- does that make sense to anyone? And it's an ancient religion, maybe it was misinterpreted? Maybe it's not 72 virgins, maybe it's a 7-foot-2 Persian.
We have a whole religion based on a woman who really stuck to her story.
I've never thought about changing religions. It's never even crossed my mind until I got here in New York. I ate at an Asian food restaurant today, and there was this little statue of Buddha. Oh my God, he looked happy and cute and fat and just,...
If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
My brother and his wife had a baby boy. They asked me to be the godfather. I didn't realize, during the ceremony, you had to renew your baptismal vows in front of the whole congregation. So, they call you out there on the altar. They start firing...
Why's God always got such wacky sh*t to say? When's the last time you heard somebody say, 'God told me to get a muffin and a cup of tea and cool out, man.'
