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A pregnant woman boards a bus. After taking a seat, she notices a man smiling at her. She feels self-conscious and changes her seat, but he seems even more amused.
She moves a third time, and he starts to giggle. On her fourth move, he...
She moves a third time, and he starts to giggle. On her fourth move, he...
A blonde calls a pharmacy and asks if she needs an infant scale to weigh a baby. The clerk explains that many women figure out an infant's weight by weighing themselves while holding the baby on an adult scale, then the mother weighs herself alone...
A man frantically speaks into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor asks.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor asks.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"
A seven-year-old tells his four-year-old brother that they should start swearing. "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'll say 'hell' and you say 'ass.'" The four-year-old happily agrees.
At breakfast, the seven-year-old says, "Aw hell,...
At breakfast, the seven-year-old says, "Aw hell,...
A father sends his kid to bed. Five minutes later, the boy screams, "Dad! Can you get me a glass of water?"
The dad says, "No. You had your chance."
A minute later the boy screams, "Dad! Can you get me a glass of water?"
The...
The dad says, "No. You had your chance."
A minute later the boy screams, "Dad! Can you get me a glass of water?"
The...
A simple tests to determine your preparedness for children:
MESS TEST:
Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the cat's litter box, then on the walls. Cover the stains with a coating of crayon. Place a fish...
MESS TEST:
Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the cat's litter box, then on the walls. Cover the stains with a coating of crayon. Place a fish...
- Moment of Zen - Jennifer Dunn(0:19)
- Jennifer Dunn is the whitest woman in America.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: Moment of Zen (1499), ethnic (814), parenting (151), Jennifer Dunn (1)
- Brian Regan - Baby Books(2:09)
- Brian Regan
- The synopsis on the back is longer than the book.
- Videos Tagged: books (748), parenting (151), children (105)
- Ben Stiller(0:00)
- Ben Stiller
- Ben Stiller talks about his new movie "Night at the Museum" and how both he and Jon love visiting the butterfly room and seeing the guys with swords.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: interview (2828), movies (559), parenting (151), Ben Stiller (6)
- Other News - Ova Easy(1:28)
- Fashion models sell their eggs for up to $150,000 or less during Menopause Monday Madness.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: technology (348), Other News (277), parenting (151)
- American Resolutions: A Series of Human Interest Stories Used to Emotionally Manipulate You - Jason Jones(4:33)
- Without a national disaster to stand in front of and weep, Jason Jones has to find another way to show his emotional side.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: Jason Jones (191), parenting (151), baby (20), father (9)
- Eddie Ifft - Lost Baby in Amsterdam(2:14)
- Eddie Ifft
- Eddie likes to pretend he lost a baby when he's in Amsterdam.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), parenting (151), Amsterdam (19), Eddie Ifft (5)
- Joe DeRosa - Moms(1:08)
- Joe DeRosa
- Moms should look like Joe's mom looked when he was growing up.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), parenting (151), Joe DeRosa (14)
- Kevin Hart - Family Unit(2:01)
- Kevin Hart
- Kevin was mad at the way his family looked as a unit.
- Videos Tagged: marriage (581), parenting (151), Kevin Hart (21), I'm a Grown Little Man (4)
She had something like 'time out.' It was called 'knock out.'
A lot of people are wearing t-shirts with pictures of people that inspire them to do stuff. I wear a picture of my son 'cause no one inspires me to work harder than my son. It's also a constant reminder to wear a condom.
I like discussing controversial issues with my father, like the Kevorkian trial. I said, 'Dad, do you think a family should have the right to withdraw life support on a loved one?' 'Well it depends on which kid.'
My mother would say, before I left the house, 'Remember Art, hugs are better than drugs.' And I believed my mother, I believed everything she said -- until the first time I got high at a party. I leaned back, and I went, 'God, this is way better...
A boy is writing a paper on childbirth and asks his parents, "How was I born?"
His mother awkwardly answers, "The stork brought you."
"Oh," says the boy. "Well, how were you and Daddy born?"
"Oh, the stork brought us, too, and...
His mother awkwardly answers, "The stork brought you."
"Oh," says the boy. "Well, how were you and Daddy born?"
"Oh, the stork brought us, too, and...
I quit smoking pot. I quit because I saw this commercial on TV -- you may have seen the same one -- it's the one where this kid gets all his buddies together, they're gonna go in the basement, and they're gonna smoke some weed. So, he goes to get...
