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Jokes Tagged:
money (431)
A crook mistakenly made a counterfeit $8 bill instead of a $10 bill. He decided to try it out anyway.
He went to the teller at the local bank and asked for change.
The teller looked at the $8 bill and gave the crook two $4 bills as change.
He went to the teller at the local bank and asked for change.
The teller looked at the $8 bill and gave the crook two $4 bills as change.
Jokes Tagged:
money (431)
Q: Two coins add up to 30 cents, and one is not a nickel. What are they?
A: A quarter and a nickel. The quarter isn't a nickel.
A: A quarter and a nickel. The quarter isn't a nickel.
Jokes Tagged:
money (431)
- Master of the Obvious(:06)
- Hitting the nail right on the head.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: Moment of Zen (1496), money (852)
- Bicycle Theft(1:44)
- Stephen loves local news: there's no getting bogged down in the issues, it's half murder, half news you can use -- no fat.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: money (852), Fox News (322)
- Starbucks Price Hike(1:49)
- Starbucks' nickel-per-cup price hike doesn't seem like much, but spread over 161 shows it'll cost Stephen a whopping eight bucks.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: money (852), Starbucks (34)
- Congratulatory Mail(1:42)
- Stephen has received the first piece of congratulatory mail for the one-year anniversary of The Report. Enclosed is two dollars, which he intends to keep.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: money (852), Jon Stewart (59)
- Lewis Black - Rich(1:01)
- Lewis Black
- Just because a man makes money, it doesn't mean he's a genius!
- Videos Tagged: money (852), Lewis Black (318)
- Peach Tint(:08)
- Burger King management explains the look of the new $20 bill.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: Moment of Zen (1496), money (852)
- Fun in the Sun(1:52)
- Stephen shows you how you can minimize your tax exposure while maximizing your tan.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: money (852), Colbert Cruise (2)
Do you ever get in debt? Do you know they call you? One guy called me every day last week. Finally I said, 'Look, every month I put everyone I owe into a hat. I pick three names; I pay those people. If you call me one more time, I'm taking you out of the hat.'
I don't know if you've ever had only five dollars in the bank, but guess what -- you can't get it out. You can't. You can visit your five dollars, you can call it on the phone, but you can't get it out.
Usually this is between me and my maker, but I'll share it with you -- 28% of what I'm earning tonight, I am giving to the United States government.
I have a five-gallon jar at my house I like to fill with change. I don't stop 'til I reach tip-top and that little bell goes off, and I know Cargo Pant Day is here at last, and I dance. And I put the cargo pants on with a belt -- extra tight...
You ever feel like you get a little extra money, run into a few bonus bucks somewhere -- and then something happens right away to just suck it right out of your hands? Has it gotten to the point where you can't even take the anxiety of having...
They say money changes people, and I say hook that sh*t up. I'm about due for some alterations. I don't care if money changes me into a 300-pound chinchilla with herpes simplex two.
I've been spending a lot of time in casinos because, apparently, I have a gambling problem. But I have learned something important to pass on to you about how to deal with casinos when you're there. Go get $100 in quarters when you arrive. Then,...
Going to the ATM for me is a lot like playing the slot machines. I never know if anything's gonna come out of there.
I've got really bad credit. I'm not even going to front; it's pretty bad. I just got turned down for a magazine subscription.
