A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some...
1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future...
Element Name: MAN
Symbol: XY
Atomic Weight: (180 +/- 50)
Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure...
"Yes" = No
"No" = Yes
"Maybe" = No
"I'm sorry" = You'll be sorry
"We need" = I want
"It's your decision" = The...
After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep, the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.
In the middle of the night the...
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.
If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will...
And never cruel or mean.
He has a perfect smile
And is always neat and clean.
The perfect man likes kids
And will raise them by your side.
He will be a caring father,
And good husband to his...
-- There is no rationale or logic, and I don't feel like trying to come up with any.
"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
-- I'm conditioned to agree, but it doesn't mean I'm listening.
"That's...
A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch.
Dad: ''Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother, 'cause I still have mine.''
Wife: ''They aren't wrinkles, they're laugh lines!''
Man: ''Nothing is that freakin' funny!!'''
Attempt to wake husband. Feed baby. Make breakfast. Change baby. Wake kids. Dress kids. Walk dog. Feed baby. Drive kids to school. Drag husband out of bed. Do laundry. Iron clothes. Clean house. Make husband lunch. Feed and...
Whose balls were made out of brass.
When they tinkled together,
They played "Stormy Weather"
And lightning shot out of his ass.
