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Don't knock masturbation...
It's sex with someone I love.
What does a guy say when he's going to masturbate?
"I'm gonna to go hit the sack!"
Do you know what conceited is?
Conceited is a peasant floating down the river on his back, jacking off, and screaming, "Raise the drawbridge!!!"
- Stand-Up: Doug Benson - Life Tips(2:28)
- Doug Benson
- Forget the "Bucket List" -- Doug has the "F**k It List."
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), travel (310), masturbation (36), Doug Benson (29)
- Open Mic Challenge - Shane Woerner(:30)
- Open Mic Challenge
- Open Mic Challenger Shane Woerner has some deep thoughts about autoerotic asphyxiation.
- Videos Tagged: dirty (56), masturbation (36), musical (15), Shane Woerner (1)
- Headlines - Meet the Breast(1:53)
- A Russian news show combines nudity with the news, raising the question if Walter Cronkite should have delivered the news without pants.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: Headlines (1078), Russia (118), nudity (73), masturbation (36)
A newlywed couple had a slight problem when it came to doing the deed. The idea of openly confessing their sexual desires was too difficult for them. Finally, they both sat down to resolve their problem. They agreed that anytime either partner...
Crazy Mike the Biker walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, "Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight. I've never had three girls at once, and I need something to keep me horny... keep me potent." The pharmacist reaches under the...
1. Cover your stump before you hump.
2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker.
3. Don't be silly, protect your willy.
4. When in doubt, shroud your sprout.
5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner.
6. You can't go...
2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker.
3. Don't be silly, protect your willy.
4. When in doubt, shroud your sprout.
5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner.
6. You can't go...
Yo Mama is like a refrigerator. Meat goes in and out all day.
Once there was a sperm named Stanley. When all the other sperm were just swimming around, Stanley was doing sprints and lifting weights. One day, a sperm asked him why he was always exercising.
"You see," said Stanley, "when the time...
What's the difference between pink and purple?????
Your grip.
Q: Why is a man's pee yellow and his sperm white?
A: So he can tell if he's coming or going.
A: So he can tell if he's coming or going.
How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?
If your girlfriend chews before swallowing.
If your girlfriend chews before swallowing.
Pinocchio and his girlfriend were having problems. Every time they would do it, she would complain about splinters, so Pinocchio went to Gepetto about the problem.
Gepetto told Pinocchio to go to the hardware store and buy some sandpaper to...
A guy sees a classified ad that says "Will give Blow Job while singing the Star Spangled Banner at the same time."
The guys thinks to himself that it sounds interesting and unbelievable, and so decides to pay her a visit. She lets him in...
What do Michael Jackson and McDonalds have in common?
They both stick their meat between 4-year-old buns!
A construction worker on the third floor of a building needs a handsaw. He sees one of the laborers on the first floor and yells down to him, but the man indicates that he can't hear. So, the guy on the third floor tries to use signs. He...
A young hillbilly always went out to the barn to beat off and when he was done he would shoot his load into a coffee can and hide it under the bench. One day his father caught him and told him, "Son, every time you do that you are killing...
A man is participating in a golf tournament. He was left to golf with just his caddy. On his tee-off, the golfer's ball lands in a patch of buttercups. The caddy tells the golfer he can take the ball onto the course, and he won't take a...
