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When I was a kid, I said, 'Hey Dad, is Hugh short for Hubert?' 'No, it's long for "Huh."'
Growing up my dad was like, 'Zach, it's not what you say, it's how you say it.' And he's so right. Take this, for instance: She had a crack-baby vs. she had a crack, baby.
A boy is born without a body, only a head. For his 18th birthday his father, takes him to a bar for a drink.
The father orders his son a scotch and when the boy drinks it, an arm pops out of his head. He drinks another shot and another arm...
The father orders his son a scotch and when the boy drinks it, an arm pops out of his head. He drinks another shot and another arm...
I grew up in a town called Hopedale, Massachusetts. I was born there in 1964, and the only thing I hate outside of myself is everything else.
- Shout Outs - Kevin Hart(1:25)
- Kevin Hart
- Whitey Todd -- stop smoking! You don't need to smoke no more.
- Videos Tagged: men/women (1003), growing up (453), Live at Gotham (332), Kevin Hart (21)
- Johnny Sanchez - Childhood(1:55)
- Johnny Sanchez
- Try jumping up and down on your next lunch break.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), growing up (453), aging (296), Johnny Sanchez (12)
- Johnny Sanchez - Teacher's Pet(1:26)
- Johnny Sanchez
- Johnny Sanchez remembers that kid in school who always ruined things for everyone.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), growing up (453), school (258), Johnny Sanchez (12)
- Kyle Grooms - Women(1:57)
- Kyle Grooms
- Kyle Grooms loves women.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), dating (656), growing up (453), Kyle Grooms (9)
- Anthony Griffith - Baptist(2:00)
- Anthony Griffith
- Anthony Griffith was jealous of Catholics growing up.
- Videos Tagged: religion (776), Premium Blend (750), growing up (453), Anthony Griffith (5)
- RodMan - Single Parent Household(1:32)
- RodMan
- RodMan considered anyone a daddy as long as they dated his mom long enough.
- Videos Tagged: Premium Blend (750), parents (525), growing up (453), RodMan (8)
- Damon Wayans - Back to the Projects(0:58)
- Damon Wayans
- Damon Wayans doesn't go back to the 'hood.
- Videos Tagged: Premium Blend (750), growing up (453), crime (415), Damon Wayans (16)
- Joey Vega - Safe Playgrounds(1:12)
- Joey Vega
- The playgrounds used to be metal.
- Videos Tagged: kids (841), growing up (453), Shorties Watchin' Shorties (149), Joey Vega (2)
- Hide-and-Seek(00:16)
- Stephen ends the hide-and-seek game he forgot to finish when he was seven.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: growing up (453), sign off (365), toys & games (69)
I went to Catholic school, everyone in my neighborhood was Catholic -- I literally had no idea that Jews existed. I thought they were characters in the Bible, like Argonauts or hobbits or something.
When you're not 21, it's great to drink because you're not allowed to. You're a rebel: you gotta get a fake I.D., you gotta find a place to drink it, you gotta sneak in drunk. And if you get away with all that, you're laying in bed, your heart's...
Really? These are the best years of my life? I live with my parents. I don't have a car. I'm a virgin. I have no money. And these are the best years of my life? Then kill me right now.
I grew up the baby of eight kids. We grew up in a two bedroom house. My mom never had to worry about curfew. You came home late, you didn't have a bed. It was simple.
Ever do that when you were a kid -- sleep in your bathing suit? I wouldn't even take it off to go to the bathroom. I just moved it on over.
Remember when you were growing up and you wanted to color eggs for Easter? Where did you go? There was only one game in town: PAAS. You went to PAAS, or you went to hell. Remember that? That was on the box.
First job I had: Burger King. My brother got me the job; he was the manager. And you think that'd be cool, right? 'Cause he's my bro. But he was a dick. He thought he was the burger king.
