I have such a dilemma. There is a guy at my gym with no legs, and I feel really awkward around him every time I see him. So I tried to make a connection. I said, 'Hey Dan. Working on arms again today?'
For years, America's first ladies have been working to perfect a secret exercise routine that allows them to remain demure, non-threatening, and demure and non-threatening.
Stephanie Jackson has come up with a new workout technique called cat-flexing. It is the process lifting cats instead of weights which, surprisingly, doesn't always work.
I don't think she loves me. I think she's just having sex with me for the exercise, so when she meets a guy she's in love with, she's still in good shape. Here was a clue. We're doing it, and all I'm hearing is 'Oh, Chuck, more -- and four more...
There's one guy yelling at me in there. I've never even met him, he's going nuts: 'C'mon man, you gotta want it! C'mon, man, push it now! Come on! Push it now!' I'm like, 'Hey man, one guy per stall.'
I like working out, but I can't stand the characters in the public gym. No matter what city I'm in, there's always the same people in there. There's always that one guy that's figured out the quickest way to look real big without actually training...
You ever do the Lifecycle? You know, you're on there for hours. It's a stationary bicycle: you pedal, you go nowhere for hours. They should call this the 'get a life-cycle.'
Every gym, the water fountain situation -- always the same. There's always one water fountain everybody uses, then there's one three feet below it, next to it, no one touches. Who's it for? What little midget treasure trolls at your gym?