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Q: Why was the guy so downhearted after his midget girlfriend dumped him?
A: Because he was nuts over her.
A: Because he was nuts over her.
Jokes Tagged:
dating (468)
I got into an argument with a girl inside a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, 'cause then I tried to walk out and slam the flap.
Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.
Did you ever argue in a relationship so much, that's how you remember where you were -- 'Didn't we argue here once?'
Trying to find one woman that I can spend the rest of this weekend with.
I sucked at being single; I was a horrible dater. I used to get phone calls on Friday night: 'John -- hi, it's Blockbuster video. It's nine o'clock on a Friday, you're not here yet. We just wanted to call and make sure you're OK.'
I answer personal ads. I'm not ashamed to admit it. But I think I'm the only one that answers them in the negative. Like, I'll call up and be like, 'Yeah, are you a single, white female, 29, who likes long walks on the beach, poetry and jazz? I'm not interested in that.'
My love life is like a fairy tale -- it's grim.
How to Impress a Woman:
compliment her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hold her,
spend money on her,
wine & dine her,
listen to her,
stand by her,
support her,
go to the ends of the...
compliment her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hold her,
spend money on her,
wine & dine her,
listen to her,
stand by her,
support her,
go to the ends of the...
-- Hallmark would make "Sorry I don't remember your name" cards.
-- If your girlfriend really needs to talk to you during the game, she'll appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
-- A smack to the...
CAN'T WE JUST BE FRIENDS?
There is no way in hell I'm going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine.
I JUST NEED SOME SPACE.
... without you in it.
DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?
We haven't had a fight in a...
There is no way in hell I'm going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine.
I JUST NEED SOME SPACE.
... without you in it.
DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?
We haven't had a fight in a...
Joe took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe.
"I want to get weighed," she said. They walked over to the weight guesser, and he guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale. It read 117, so she won...
"I want to get weighed," she said. They walked over to the weight guesser, and he guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale. It read 117, so she won...
Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A: I want to hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand.
A: I want to hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand.
I broke up with this girl. It was my doing, though. I can't tell you her real name, of course, because -- well, she didn't tell me her real name.
Dates are basically where I go out and I act like someone I'm not until the person likes me enough to be who I actually am.
- Nick Thune - Phone Tag(5:08)
- Nick Thune
- Nick has a little trouble letting go.
- Videos Tagged: dating (611), Nick Thune (9)
All we do is have sex: sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex -- until you're chafed, raw, swollen, bloody, scabby! And what do we do? We have more sex because we are in love.
You wake up one morning, and you're talking alike. The next thing you know, you're dressing alike. Then you start blowing your friends off, telling your family to go to hell, skipping school, skipping work -- just living in each other's ass.
Breaking up is always hard to do, isn't it? I broke up. I recently broke up from my little honey bunny. I was distraught. I thought I was going insane. I lost all this weight, got all skinny. My friends were like, 'You look fabulous!'
I still believe in love. Actually, my friends say I love too much, because I did. I put my ex-wife on a pedestal. I thought the sun rose and set in her stankin' ass.
