Everything tagged with 'college' | Jokes.com | Comedy Central

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An Auburn student spent a holiday in New Mexico with Native Americans who told him the Legend of the Maidens.

The tale went this way: "There are beautiful maidens who live in the cracks and crevices in this valley. If you hear them call,...

college
Jokes Tagged: college (137) 
A question had appeared in a student's medical examination which read: "List four benefits of breast milk." A student began to answer the question: 1. No need to bottle it. 2. Cats can't steal it. 3. Available whenever necessary. But the fourth...
college
Jokes Tagged: college (137) 
Last semester I took macroeconomics and didn't have a clue what I was doing (as cited on the final exam). There were 80 multiple choice questions. For some reason I decided to play the game of probability and choose the letter "A" for everything....
college
Jokes Tagged: college (137) 
Fail a class? Drop one too many? Don't worry about it. In order to keep money flowing into our institution we've created a summer program that any slacker could pass.

New Course Offerings for the Summer Session: THEORIES OF TIC-TAC-TOE:...

college
Jokes Tagged: college (137) 
Possible Courses:

ESSENTIALS OF BONG DESIGN: Discover earth, water, wind, and fire as the tools you'll need to get rid of your syllabus... some killer hashish.

SMUGGLING 101: Who says the party's over? Years of commerce have made this...

college
Jokes Tagged: college (137) 
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from students, it will be our policy to keep all students well taught through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (S.H.I.T.).

We are trying to give our students...

college
Jokes Tagged: college (137) 
What do you call a fratboy in a suit?

The defendant.

college
Jokes Tagged: college (137) 
As a pre-med student at Washington University in St. Louis, I had to take a difficult class in physics. One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this...
college
Jokes Tagged: college (137) 
10. See me after class.
9. Did you even read the material?
8. It's a C, but it's a strong C.
7. Fascinatingly convoluted.
6. My, what nice, big margins!
5. You must've been up all last night.
4. The book ends...
college
Jokes Tagged: college (137) 
1. Leave permanent markers by the dry-erase board.
2. Ask whether the first chapter will be on the test. If the professor says no, rip the pages out of your textbook.
3. Hold up a piece of paper that says in large letters "CHECK YOUR...
college
Jokes Tagged: college (137) 
Q: How do you get a Maryland graduate off your porch?
A: Pay for the pizza.

Q: Why did Clemson choose orange as a school color?
A: So that the football team could wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up...

college
Jokes Tagged: college (137) 
Two retired professors were vacationing with their wives at a hotel in the Catskills. They were sitting on the veranda one summer evening, watching the sun set.

The history professor asked the psychology professor, "Have you read Marx?"

To...

college
Jokes Tagged: college (137) 
  • Posted: 06/24/1999
  • Views: 728
  • Posted: 10/22/2003
  • Views: 511
There was an old professor who started every class with a vulgar joke. After one particularly nasty example, the women in the class decided to walk out the next time he started. The professor got wind of this plot, so the next morning he walked...
whatever
college
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379)college (137) 
This guy is standing outside on his balcony on the 5th floor of his apartment when he spots this gorgeous babe sunbathing on the 3rd floor balcony wearing the skimpiest bathing suit he's ever seen. He watches her for 3 days straight, and can't...
sex
college
Jokes Tagged: sex (2379)college (137) 
A college psychology class was studing human reaction to sexual stimulus and of special interest was the frequency of amorous relations.

''How many students here,'' said the professor, ''engage more than once a week?''
Five people...

sex
college
Jokes Tagged: sex (2379)college (137) 
You know you're in trouble when...

1. The McDonald's people know you by name from late night study breaks.

2. You have spent more time figuring out that you only need a 54% to pass the final than you have actually spent studying.

...

whatever
college
Jokes Tagged: whatever (2379)college (137) 

    A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back of the herd that are killed first.  This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because...

college
Jokes Tagged: alcohol (428)college (137) 
At a southern university, students in the psychology program attend their first class on emotional extremes.

"Just to establish some parameters," says the professor to a student from Arkansas, "what is the opposite of...
college
Jokes Tagged: blue collar (282)college (137)