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A man walks into a bar and says, "Excuse me, I'd like a pint of beer."
The bartender serves the drink and says, "That'll be four dollars."
The customer pulls out a twenty-dollar bill and hands it to the bartender.
"Sorry,...
The bartender serves the drink and says, "That'll be four dollars."
The customer pulls out a twenty-dollar bill and hands it to the bartender.
"Sorry,...
Jokes Tagged:
alcohol (428)
A husband and wife are in bed when there is a knock at the door. The husband rolls over and looks at his clock -- it's 3:30 a.m. He drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs.
When he opens the door, there is a drunk slumped there. "Hi...
When he opens the door, there is a drunk slumped there. "Hi...
Jokes Tagged:
alcohol (428)
15 - You spent Sunday night in jail for cow-tipping — with your Oldsmobile.
14 - Although armed with fire extinguishers, friends stood at a safe distance as you blew out your birthday candles.
13 - Thanks to you, Jack Daniels...
14 - Although armed with fire extinguishers, friends stood at a safe distance as you blew out your birthday candles.
13 - Thanks to you, Jack Daniels...
Jokes Tagged:
alcohol (428)
An old guy walks into a bar and asks for a bottle of forty-year old Scotch. The bartender, not wanting to give up the good liquor, pours a shot of ten-year Scotch and figures that the guy won't be able to tell the difference. The guy downs the...
Jokes Tagged:
alcohol (428)
Why do drunks throw up in the sewer?
So homeless people can have breakfast.
So homeless people can have breakfast.
Jokes Tagged:
alcohol (428)
A drunken man staggered into a Catholic church, sat down in the Confessional and said nothing.
The priest is waiting and waiting and waiting.
The priest coughs to attract the drunk man's attention, but still the man says nothing....
The priest is waiting and waiting and waiting.
The priest coughs to attract the drunk man's attention, but still the man says nothing....
Jokes Tagged:
alcohol (428)
This guy walks into a bar near a concert hall with an octopus under his arm and says, "I'll bet any of you that my octopus can play any instrument that you give him."
Two guys bet fifty dollars each that the octopus can't play their...
Jokes Tagged:
alcohol (428)
A man walks into a bar. The bartender says to the guy, "What can I get you?"
"Make it a whisky," says the man who promptly throws it down in one gulp.
"That will be three dollars," says the bartender.
"Screw you!" says the man. "You...
Jokes Tagged:
alcohol (428)
Joe walks into a bar. Joe's friend, Al, sits down next to him. Joe tells the bartender, “I'll take a large beer.”
The bartender says, “Do you want dry beer with no aftertaste, or brewed beer with aftertaste?”...
The bartender says, “Do you want dry beer with no aftertaste, or brewed beer with aftertaste?”...
Jokes Tagged:
alcohol (428)
Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini.
The bartender asks, “Olive or twist?”
The bartender asks, “Olive or twist?”
Jokes Tagged:
alcohol (428)
A man walked into a bar on a slow night and sat down. After a few minutes, the bartender asked him if he wanted a drink.
He replied, "No thanks. I don't drink. I tried it once, but I didn't like it."
So the bartender said, "Well,...
Jokes Tagged:
alcohol (428)
A lady walks into a bar and says,'' Barkeep, gimme a martooni.'' The bartender goes back and fixes her a martini. She downs it and says, ''Barkeep, gimme another martooni.'' So he goes back and fixes her another martini. She downs that, and just...
Jokes Tagged:
alcohol (428)
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
Jokes Tagged:
alcohol (428)
A big hulking hooligan walks into a bar, slams his fist down, and yells "Give me a Budweiser, or...!"
Scared, the bartender serves the man his Budweiser. This happens everyday for a week straight, and the bartender turns into a nervous...
Scared, the bartender serves the man his Budweiser. This happens everyday for a week straight, and the bartender turns into a nervous...
Jokes Tagged:
alcohol (428)
A guy runs into a bar and says, "Bartender, quick! Give me 20 shots of your best Scotch!"
So the bartender lines up 20 shots of his best Scotch and watches this guy down one after the other.
"Man," the bartender says, "I've never seen...
Jokes Tagged:
alcohol (428)
A man was walking down the street and on the corner were 3 drunks trying to raise a telephone pole. They worked and worked and finally got the thing in the air. Two of of the drunks held the pole and the other climbed on top. He let down...
Jokes Tagged:
alcohol (428)
