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- Wanda Sykes
- Wanda Sykes has been called "one of the funniest stand up comics" by her peers and ranks among Entertainment Weekly's 25 Funniest People in America. Her smart-witted stand up has sent her career in many different areas. She can be...Read on
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- Wanda Sykes(5:00)
- Wanda Sykes talks about working with Jane Fonda and Jennifer Lopez on "Monster-in-Law" and having the freedom to do whatever she wants on set.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: interview (2828), Wanda Sykes (43)
I did a benefit for a feminist organization. Now benefit means 'no money,' so I should be able to say what I want to say. And I figured if I pissed them off, who cares? What, they're going to get mad and pay me? So it's all feminists -- Gloria...
- Wanda Sykes - Politically Correct(2:25)
- Wanda Sykes
- The term "African American" isn't changing a lot for black people in America.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), ethnic (814), Wanda Sykes (43)
- Wanda Sykes - Cutting Carbs(0:52)
- Wanda Sykes
- Wanda Sykes does not want any skinny bitches hollering at her.
- Videos Tagged: food (804), Premium Blend (750), physical humor (203), Wanda Sykes (43)
They mess with your food, they do. They go 'Well Wanda, first we're gonna cut out all your carbs...' OK, wait a minute, hold up. Let me explain something to you. I've got this medical condition, and when you cut out my carbs -- my foot? Right up your ass.
Guys don't buy you free drinks like they used to. They don't. Remember the good old days? You'd go to your local bar, and the bartender would come over and say, 'Excuse me, ma'am, the gentleman way over there in the corner, he would like to buy...
I don't go out with my single friends -- not at all -- because I never have a good time, never have fun. We go to a club, a guy comes over -- 'Hey, can I buy you a drink?' They're like, 'No, she's married.' I'm like, 'Yeah, I'm married, but I'm...
That's proof right there that men and women are on different levels because men can watch two women together and that's a turn-on. It doesn't work the same way for us, does it, ladies? No, uh-uh -- it doesn't work the same. You ask any woman in...
That's what they want: two women. Fellas, I think that's a bit lofty. Because, come on, think about it -- if you can't satisfy that one woman, why do you want to piss off another one? Why have two angry women in the bed with you at the same time?...
My neighbor, she invited me to an Elvis party. I told her I couldn't come 'cause I'd be too busy making fun of her from behind my blinds.
Man, if I spent $400 for a gun, I am shooting somebody. I am not letting a $400 gun go to waste. And I know me -- I get annoyed easily, you know, so I'm the wrong person to have a gun. I mean, I would shoot people in my house that I invited over. 'What'd you say? That was stupid. Let me go find my gun.'
I was visiting my brother earlier today, and he's childproofing his home. I didn't understand that. He's going around putting little covers over the electrical outlets and all that stuff, and I'm like, 'How the kids going to learn about electricity, huh?'
I was hanging out with my little nephew, and the kid -- he had a helmet, shoulder pads, knee pads, some shin guards, gloves. Talk about, 'I'm a go ride my bike.' I'm like, 'Where -- through a mine field?'
Every now and then, I like to give out some advice. Ladies -- don't laugh during the porno watchin'.
Comedy Central, they told me I had to watch my language because, the woman said, they had 'standards and practices.' I was like, wait a minute -- you're Comedy Central. Aren't you the network where your number one show is a cartoon with a talking piece of sh*t?
I'm not politically correct. I still say 'black,' I do. Because 'African American' -- there's no bonus; it's not going to make your life any easier. You don't see black people standing around going, 'Woo yeah, African American. Man, I tell you,...
Some black people want to get in touch with their African roots -- that's what they want to do, try and find their African roots. But then you got some black people that just don't give a damn. You tell them, 'Hey, I just got back from the mother...
The only thing keeping him black is, every now and then, his father shows up: 'Hey, that's my boy, alright! Don't try to steal him now.'
As soon as he turned pro and he won his first tournament, I read, 'Bi-racial golfer wins first tournament.' Oh, OK -- 50/50: he's 50% black, 50% Asian. Alright, cool. Then after he won the masters, I'm flipping through Sports Illustrated, and I...
When you get married, you stand there and you say ''Til death do you part.' That's what you say in the marriage vows -- make that vow, stay together forever. The divorce rate is sky high, so everybody's just lying their asses off. Why don't we...
