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- Todd Barry
- Todd Barry is one of the few people who are hilarious AND adorable. For most people, it's one or the other. Todd is both. Hilarious AND adorable. Todd Andrew Barry was born on March 26, 1964 in the Bronx, NY. He got a BA in English at...Read on
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What is the deal with the reservoir tip? Reservoir? Isn't that a little grandiose term for a quarter-inch plastic bubble? It's like, 'Oh honey, I hope it doesn't break. I don't want to contaminate the ground water.'
I did a show in Pittsburgh. A woman runs up to me after the show, all smiling, and she's like, 'Oh my God, you were so much funnier live than you were on Comedy Central.' And I just wanted to say to her, 'You know, I bet your comments are better televised.'
I have a website. It's got my e-mail address on it. So now, I get e-mails from all over the country, and people have unbelievable questions. They'll be like, 'Dear Todd, I'm going to see your show in Columbus, Ohio. Do you know how old you have to...
I am weird about words, though, man. Some words freak me out for no reason. When people say 'fridge' instead of 'refrigerator,' I want to climb up on top of a water tower and pick people off with a shotgun.
Those Grammy Awards, man, it's always famous bands that win those. You never see some poor, struggling, unknown, garage band. That'd be nice -- 'And the album of the year goes to The Cheesewillies. They couldn't make it here tonight because their...
- Todd Barry - Next Tour(2:23)
- Todd Barry
- Todd Barry talks about his upcoming tour.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), audience interaction (303), Todd Barry (27), Norway (8)
- Open Mic Challenge - Mr. Fancypants(:30)
- Open Mic Challenge
- Open Mic Challenger Mr. Fancypants gets some relationship advice from Maxim Magazine.
- Videos Tagged: observational (334), dirty (56), Todd Barry (27)
- Todd Barry - Old Navy(1:17)
- Todd Barry
- Todd Barry discusses shopping at Old Navy
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), fashion (230), Todd Barry (27)
- Todd Barry - Freaky Words(1:58)
- Todd Barry
- Words freak Todd Barry out.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1283), Todd Barry (27), Julia Roberts (14)
- Todd Barry - Tattooed Women(1:27)
- Todd Barry
- It's not a smiley face; it's a police sketch of the man who stole my baby.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1283), sleep (105), Todd Barry (27)
- Todd Barry - Container Store(1:59)
- Todd Barry
- Todd Barry visits The Container Store
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), Jewish (241), holidays (222), Todd Barry (27)
- Todd Barry - Reviews(2:35)
- Todd Barry
- Todd Barry gets good reviews that make him feel awful.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), travel (310), Todd Barry (27)
- Todd Barry - Are You Gay?(1:08)
- Todd Barry
- A Scottish woman asks Todd Barry if he's gay.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), gay/homosexual (633), Todd Barry (27), Scotland (24)
I'm a single guy myself. I was reading the personal ads. I saw one that said, 'Single white female, 27, herpes: mild.' I don't know if we use the same rating system for social diseases as we do for taco sauce.
I made myself a good dinner tonight. I used a wok. That is a great thing to have. With a wok, in the privacy of your own home, you can create your own mediocre Chinese food for 50 cents less than ordering take-out. I'm standing over this thing,...
I never understood the concept of summer school. The teacher's going to go up there and go, 'OK, class, you know that subject you couldn't grasp in nine months? We're going to whip it out in six weeks.'
I used to be a substitute teacher. That's a crazy job. They call you up at six o'clock in the morning. They wake you up. Then, they ask you if you'd like to come in to work, and you can say no. My first year of teaching, I made $72.14.
I had sex with a woman. I took out the box of condoms. She takes the box from my hand, looks at it, and goes, 'Hey Todd, good choice.' Now, I didn't expect her to be a virgin, but this is no time to show brand loyalty.
I was dating a woman. Before we had our first little sex talk, she actually said this to me -- she goes, 'Todd, I've had anal sex before, but, uh, don't ask me who it was with.' I think if I made a list of every question I'd ask before that one, it would be a list of every question.
I'm a Jewish guy. Saw another Jewish guy on the street wearing a pink yarmulke. I walk closer, not only was it a pink yarmulke, it was made to look like a slice of watermelon. I think if God is so easygoing he tolerates your summer fun pink watermelon yarmulke, he'd probably be cool with no yarmulke.
