Everything tagged with 'Richard Lewis' | Jokes.com | Comedy Central

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At home now, I have cough medicine on tap.
health
Jokes Tagged: health (734)Richard Lewis (48) 
Streetcar Named Desire' -- it was the worst ever. It was -- 'A surprise visit from his sister-in-law throws off Stanley's bowling game.' Hey, let's watch that classic.
pop culture
  • Posted: 02/24/1992
  • Views: 803
  • Posted: 02/24/1992
  • Views: 1455
  • Posted: 03/05/2002
  • Views: 2164
  • Posted: 10/15/2002
  • Views: 581
  • Posted: 10/15/2008
  • Views: 66406
We get into bed, and she says, 'You're not going to use your penis, are you?'
sex
dating
mental health
I'm not that promiscuous; she was. I mean, I should have known. I mean, she put a triangle over the bed. Before we made love, which was sad, she went, 'Come and get it.'
sex
men/women
dating
I'm a hypochondriac. Backstage, I don't sign autographs -- I signed a valium for some woman.
health
mental health
Here's the deal. If you're with somebody who you love, they should want you in bed. That's it. Once it goes south in bed, that's it. You don't want to be in bed with somebody that says, 'I'll race you to sleep.'
sex
dating
mental health
She was hostile. You don't have an orgasm and say to your lover, 'Take that!'
sex
dating
mental health
I purposefully studied ventriloquism so I can throw my orgasm -- which was sort of a sad moment in my life.
sex
mental health
I'm like President Ford: I can't do two things at once. I can't have intercourse and enjoy myself at the same time.
sex
mental health
Before I have masturbation, I say to myself, 'Break a leg.' While I masturbate, I actually fantasize that I'm somebody else. In fact, if I do it in different rooms, I actually feel that I'm cheating on myself -- which is sad.
sex
mental health
If I have an orgasm, I feel that I have to give six weeks of community service to various charities.
sex
mental health
We had our own Olympics and forget the color war. We had the colon wars, which was sort of sad. The rabbi was the head of the sports department, and he said, 'Let the injuries begin!'
sports
religion
growing up
She was wacko. She was an only child, but she still had a sibling rivalry.
dating
mental health
We made love, and I thought she had an orgasm. I said, 'Well, did you have an orgasm?' She said, 'Yeah, but I was hoping for a series.'
sex
dating
She was an egomaniac. We would make love. She went, 'I only want to make love on my good side.' She would have an orgasm and say, 'I love me.'
sex
dating