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- Peter Berman
- Former host of NBC's "Friday Night", recent appearances include CBS's "Late, Late Show with Craig Kilborn". By his own admission, he has played every great comedy club and rotten hellhole throughout the USA, Canada, England and Ireland.Read on
1-15 of 15 Results
- Peter Berman - Coma(2:06)
- Peter Berman
- The coma is underrated.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), health (976), religion (776), Peter Berman (7)
- Peter Berman - Low Expectations(2:15)
- Peter Berman
- Women need to lower their expectations.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), men/women (1003), dating (656), Peter Berman (7)
- Peter Berman - Sleep Moaner(3:10)
- Peter Berman
- Not only does Peter's wife talk in her sleep, she moans, too.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), marriage (581), sleep (105), Peter Berman (7)
I went out with the one that wasn't 'the one' for five years. Get this, I wanted to break up with her after three months, but I didn't. You want to know why? Because I'm a pussy, that's why. I didn't want to hurt her. I just wanted to ruin my freaking life. What's five years when you think about it?
Here's when I knew it was over -- three months into the relationship, we're sitting at a traffic light, and she leans over and punches me right in the face for no reason. I clearly remember thinking, I'm going to give her four more years and nine months, and that is it.
Women think that men know how to communicate because when we meet you and start dating you, we talk a lot. Do you want to know why? Because we're trying to sleep with you. That's why. But we use all that up right away. That's why, after a month,...
I don't know about you guys, but I could use a month off. Wouldn't that be sweet? You don't have to get up, go to the bathroom, answer the phone, pay a bill. You wake up a month later: your skin's nice and soft; you're well rested; you lost some weight. I think the coma's underrated.
No guy I know wants to fight with his girlfriend or his wife. When we're arguing with you women, and you women are like, 'Hey, don't act like you don't know what the f**k is going on,' it is because we do not know what the f**k is going on.
Arguing is totally different when you're married than when you're dating. I don't care how long you've been together before you get married, once you get married the whole arguing dynamic completely changes. 'Cause when you're just dating, you...
You women want to meet a good guy? I'm going to help you. Here's all you need to do. Pay attention, here's how you women meet a good guy -- lower your expectations. Ta-dah.
When you're first in love, you cannot sleep close enough to that person you're in love with. At the beginning of the relationship, you're like, 'Come here, honey. Let's stay like this forever.' A short five years later, my wife is laying on my arm...
- Peter Berman - Umpires(3:11)
- Peter Berman
- An umpire's job is calling people out.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), sports (631), work/office (398), baseball (150), Las Vegas (68), Peter Berman (7)
- Peter Berman - The Meaning of Life(2:20)
- Peter Berman
- No one's going to listen to you when you're old.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1283), men/women (1003), dating (656), aging (296), senior citizens (77), Peter Berman (7)
- Peter Berman - Arguments(3:30)
- Peter Berman
- Men are not thinking when women are thinking.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), men/women (1003), dating (656), marriage (581), fights (123), Peter Berman (7)
- Peter Berman - The One(3:40)
- Peter Berman
- Women have a large capacity to love.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), men/women (1003), money (865), dating (656), marriage (581), violence (304), weight/obesity (302), Peter Berman (7)
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