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- Paul Mecurio
- Paul has won an Emmy and a Peabody Award for his work on "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart." He also is the warm-up comedian for The Daily Show. A national headliner in clubs across North America and in Europe, Paul has performed at the...Read on
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I reached into this pocket and found a $10 bill. You know that feeling, that moment in time? You get so excited about $10 bucks. That's when you know you're poor.
I'm shopping at these bargain basement clothing stores. Can you do me a favor and sign a petition? I want to change the name of all these places to Crap That Was Ugly at Full Price and Is Still Ugly at Half Price.
I think they should have mirrors in the wild, because if some of these wild animals saw themselves, they wouldn't be so cocky. Think about it -- how you look affects how you feel. Why wouldn't that be true for the wild animal kingdom? Like the...
Have you ever been so tired, you look at a homeless guy asleep on the street and go, 'Boy, I wish I could sleep like that. I don't need a box spring. I need a box'?
I was a lawyer, a comic, a furniture salesman, then a comic. Here's a tip for you kids out there: try not to get high on career day.
The first thing that strikes you when you go home and you've been away for a while is you've become a different person from your family: not better, not worse, just different. I grew up in a very Italian family, and I felt out of place. I didn't...
Racist stereotypes apply to everyone, including blacks. I know it's been 500 years of oppression, but let's be honest -- black men, you love purple neon license plate holders.
Why can't we find Bin Laden? We're the most sophisticated -- let me back up -- he's six' eight''. He's six' eight''! Can't somebody just stand on a stool and go, 'Oh yeah. There he is. I see him. He's right there -- the guy with the eight-foot turban, the 12-foot beard and the video crew.'
- Hell Gigs - Kurt Metzger(1:30)
- Kurt Metzger
- Kurt did warm-up for the daytime version of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire."
- Videos Tagged: Kurt Metzger (14), Paul Mecurio (12), Hell Gigs (9), Meredith Vieira (6), exclusive (6)
The salesman is using sex to sell me a CD player, giving me pressure about my love life. 'Mr. Mercurio, it's a five CD player carousel model. You load all five of your CDs into this baby -- you're with your woman, you're gonna make love -- you...
They have security in these stores. There's a man standing at the door. Do you understand what that means? Somebody made a life decision out there that they're willing to risk going to jail to steal something from a bargain basement clothing...
Who cares if North Korea has the bomb? Everybody's got the bomb now: India, Pakistan -- I have the bomb. I got it last week at L.L. Bean, in sandstone. I got the bomb, and I got a free backpack with the bomb. And the backpack comes with a free...
Jokes Tagged:
international affairs (349),
technology (345),
shopping (135),
wars (75),
Paul Mecurio (12)
- Paul Mecurio - Double Life(2:13)
- Paul Mecurio
- Try not to get high on career day.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), money (865), drugs (639), work/office (398), lawyers (25), Paul Mecurio (12)
- Paul Mecurio - Racism(3:08)
- Paul Mecurio
- Black comics get away with talking about race all the time.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), ethnic (814), TV (543), stereotypes (431), racism (195), Paul Mecurio (12)
North Korea has the bomb. Don't worry about it, folks -- they're Korea. Can we be honest with each other? Have you ever owned anything made in Korea that's worked?
Jokes Tagged:
insults (1620),
international affairs (349),
business (153),
shopping (135),
wars (75),
Paul Mecurio (12)
- Paul Mecurio - Dental Hygiene(1:43)
- Paul Mecurio
- Paul Mecurio saw a guy on the bus with three teeth.
- Videos Tagged: sex (1283), music (727), family (667), technology (348), weight/obesity (302), fashion (230), transportation (87), Comic Cabana (57), Paul Mecurio (12)
- Paul Mecurio - Crazy Cab(1:40)
- Paul Mecurio
- Insanity is the great racial equalizer in this country.
- Videos Tagged: kids (841), parents (525), America (446), impressions (304), mental health (221), racism (195), smoking (126), homeless (81), Comic Cabana (57), Paul Mecurio (12)
- Paul Mecurio - Bargain Basement Stores(2:16)
- Paul Mecurio
- Paul shops at bargain basement clothing stores now.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), money (865), crime (415), lookin' good (369), fashion (230), shopping (197), poverty (50), Paul Mecurio (12)
- Paul Mecurio - Animal Kingdom(2:48)
- Paul Mecurio
- God is passive aggressive.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), money (865), kids (841), animals (791), parents (525), lookin' good (369), God (136), homeless (81), Paul Mecurio (12)
- Paul Mecurio - Going Home(2:07)
- Paul Mecurio
- Paul's cousin sells car alarms he stole out of other cars.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), family (667), crime (415), lookin' good (369), death (318), storyteller (263), cocaine (55), Italian (32), organized crime (14), Paul Mecurio (12)
