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- Kurt Metzger
- Besides regularly performing in many a NYC comedy club, Kurt Metzger's credits include performing on Comedy Central's Live at Gotham, Showtime's White Boys in the Hood and as a regular on VH1's Best Week Ever. Kurt will be filming a half hour...Read on
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I need glasses really bad, and it turns out I can't wear them, medically, because my eyebrows are too g**damn big. I'm not wearing glasses. And I got big nostrils, also. It looks like I have a beard, but that is the shadow of my nostrils. If I...
- Kurt Metzger - Settling Down(2:27)
- Kurt Metzger
- It's called "settling down" for a reason.
- Videos Tagged: men/women (1003), dating (656), Live at Gotham (332), Kurt Metzger (14)
- Kurt Metzger - Interview - Early Days(1:25)
- Kurt Metzger
- In this exclusive interview, Kurt Metzger remembers that his early days as a comedian sucked for a long time.
- Videos Tagged: interview (2828), Comedy Central Presents (1821), Russ Meneve (16), Kurt Metzger (14)
- Kurt Metzger - Kinoki Foot Pads(3:53)
- Kurt Metzger
- If Kurt is ever HIV positive, he'll have to treat it with Kinoki Foot Pads.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), AIDS (57), Kurt Metzger (14)
- Kurt Metzger - Ice Cream(3:21)
- Kurt Metzger
- Ben and Jerry's is the fun ice cream; Haagen Dazs is the Nazi ice cream.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), AIDS (57), Kurt Metzger (14)
- Kurt Metzger - Religious Tolerance(2:30)
- Kurt Metzger
- If you see a grown man dressed like Space Ghost, just assume he doesn't listen to people.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), men/women (1003), religion (776), Kurt Metzger (14)
- Kurt Metzger - Bake and Brag(2:57)
- Kurt Metzger
- Kurt still gets high because there are no good commercials to convince him otherwise.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), marijuana (190), Kurt Metzger (14)
- Kurt Metzger - PlayStation 3(2:06)
- Kurt Metzger
- Kurt just wants to see your PlayStation 3.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), men/women (1003), dating (656), Kurt Metzger (14)
I saw liposuction. You ever see how they do that? It's, like, violent. They get the hose -- it looks like they're mad at how fat you are.
She's like, 'Oh, I'm not a 10? What does that mean? Did you settle? Did you have to settle for me?' Which is awkward because that's what I thought we were both doing, first of all. It's a problem now? Isn't that why it's called 'settling down'?...
You know, human beings are the only animal in all of nature that sometimes shoves other animals up their ass.
- Kurt Metzger - Ethiopian Food(2:49)
- Kurt Metzger
- Kurt Metzger didn't even know they had Ethiopian restaurants.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), ethnic (814), food (804), New York (127), Kurt Metzger (14)
- Kurt Metzger - An Eighth Cherokee(2:22)
- Kurt Metzger
- There's one detail about your heritage that Kurt doesn't want to hear about.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), ethnic (814), dating (656), racism (195), Kurt Metzger (14)
- Hell Gigs - Kurt Metzger(1:30)
- Kurt Metzger
- Kurt did warm-up for the daytime version of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire."
- Videos Tagged: Kurt Metzger (14), Paul Mecurio (12), Hell Gigs (9), Meredith Vieira (6), exclusive (6)
- Kurt Metzger - How to Protect Yourself from Your Own Mouth(1:07)
- You can't give your girlfriend an "8" after you give another woman a "10" in front of her.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: men/women (1003), dating (656), lookin' good (369), Kurt Metzger (14), Lessons in Taste Protection (6)
- Kurt Metzger - Hilarious Crimes(2:30)
- Kurt Metzger
- It's hard to find a reliable motel gynecologist.
- Videos Tagged: health (976), media (651), crime (415), Live at Gotham (332), weight/obesity (302), self-deprecating (211), Kurt Metzger (14)
- Kurt Metzger - How to Protect Yourself at Home(1:03)
- Bugs are gaining new powers. That's not supposed to happen! Are we just going to sit on our hands about this?
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: food (804), animals (791), flying (181), Kurt Metzger (14), Lessons in Taste Protection (6), bugs (5), apartments (1)
- Kurt Metzger - The 101 Craziest Objects(1:56)
- Kurt Metzger
- People put a lot of strange things up their asses.
- Videos Tagged: health (976), kids (841), animals (791), TV (543), Live at Gotham (332), school (258), rants (130), gross-out (89), Discovery Channel (32), Kurt Metzger (14)
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