Most Popular Tags Today
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I'm not gonna tell you how old I am. Let's just say it's somewhere between 30 and a Wal-Mart greeter.
- Jim David - The Twenties(0:44)
- Jim David
- A 20-year-old's only purpose is to look good.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), aging (296), Jim David (13)
I am white trash and proud. I was raised in an upwardly mobile home, so I prefer to be called trash du blanc.
I'm a former hippie; I did drugs back when they were healthy. The only time I ever did LSD was at Disney World. I didn't go there -- it came to me. I was Snow White.
You know, the thing about your family is you're connected forever by blood relation to a group of folks who are really not your kind of people.
I read my morning papers on the computer. It's just hard to hold the computer on the toilet 'cause I don't have a laptop.
My dad looks at me, and he says, 'So now, so now, what is it that the two of you do? What do you do?' And I said, 'Well, you know, Dad, all those things you really wish Mom would do, but she won't? That's what we do.'
The British don't want to be embarrassed about anything. They could have their pants around their ankles, and they're going, 'Do you feel a draft?'
I was raised by people that wear lime green polyester pants and white vinyl shoes, and I thought that this was endemic to my race 'til I saw a black man wearing red polyester pants and white vinyl shoes. Then I realized -- bad taste knows no color barrier.
Some friends of mine came to visit me from Holland, and they said, 'We would like to go to Harlem.' I said, 'Well you know, the Dutch influence has waned over the years.'
I believe in capital punishment, and since I was a former teacher, I believe in starting it at the eighth grade level.
- Jim David - The New Look(1:48)
- Jim David
- Beauty comes from within -- like gas.
- Videos Tagged: drugs (639), impressions (304), fashion (230), Comic Cabana (57), trends (27), Jim David (13)
- Jim David - Rich, Handsome and Famous(1:22)
- Jim David
- Jim David resents the fact that John F. Kennedy Jr. gets more publicity than he does.
- Videos Tagged: impressions (304), Los Angeles (240), Comic Cabana (57), royalty (22), Jim David (13), John F. Kennedy Jr. (12)
- Jim David - Meeting People(2:33)
- Jim David
- If you're a comedian, it's hard to relate to Martha Stewart.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), imitations (772), TV (543), America (446), stereotypes (431), impressions (304), storyteller (263), Martha Stewart (38), Jim David (13)
- Jim David - North vs. South(2:56)
- Jim David
- Florida is not the South.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), ethnic (814), imitations (772), New York City (602), stereotypes (431), observational (334), storyteller (263), culture (165), the South (59), Jim David (13)
- Jim David - Computer Problems(1:28)
- Jim David
- It's hard to hold a desktop computer while on the toilet.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), imitations (772), technology (348), observational (334), Internet (319), aging (296), Jim David (13), Beowulf (1)
- Jim David - White People(2:20)
- Jim David
- White people are scared of everything.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), ethnic (814), imitations (772), family (667), gay/homosexual (633), stereotypes (431), observational (334), friends (312), travel (310), Jim David (13)
- Jim David - Pets(2:19)
- Jim David
- There was a time when drugs were healthy.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), health (976), kids (841), food (804), animals (791), imitations (772), family (667), drugs (639), gay/homosexual (633), alcohol (496), growing up (453), smoking (126), Jim David (13)
- Jim David - Education(1:09)
- Jim David
- Home-school defeats the purpose of even going to school.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), kids (841), imitations (772), drugs (639), gay/homosexual (633), parents (525), stereotypes (431), storyteller (263), school (258), education (245), Jim David (13)
