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- Eddie Gossling
- Eddie Gossling was born in Johnson City, New York, while his father was away at pilot training in the Air Force. When Eddie was two years old his father fed him a teaspoon of horseradish sauce. Four hours later after a quick trip to the minor...Read on
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One of my biggest hobbies? I like to rush to judgment.
You ever just stop going to a job? You don't even quit; you just stop showing up one day. I've done that a lot. I'm probably still on a couple of schedules.
If I ever have to get another job, and I know I have to get fired that day, that day I'm going to go to work with a pocketful of glitter. And when my boss fires me, I'm going to be like, 'Oh, I'm sorry it didn't work out. Glitter?' And I'm going...
- Eddie Gossling - Quitting(2:20)
- Eddie Gossling
- If you get fired, especially from a bad job, you should go off.
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Nelly's pretty cool. He's got this one song where he talks about how hot it is and how this girl should just take her clothes off. But then the girl's like, 'It is hot in here. I'm going to take my clothes off.' And I'm like, 'Damn, this guy's like a hypnotist.'
I hate magicians, and you know why? They're never prepared, that's why. They always need something from the audience. I'm like, 'You knew you were going to do that trick, Harry Potter. Bring your tricks!'
My first impression of the current conflict between the Israelis and Palestinians: 'Mom, Israel's touching me!'
I had a horrible set of encyclopedias growing up. My parents didn't want to get new ones, so they got my grandma's old ones. A-Z was covered in two books then... I had no idea how old they were until I got back my failed report on the five planets of our solar system.
I suck at math. If you suck at math, you can't get a cool job later on in life. That's a big reason I'm a comic is because I suck at math. If it wasn't for math, I'd be the funniest guy at NASA.
- Eddie Gossling - Math(1:38)
- Eddie Gossling
- NASA is one place you can't ballpark math.
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- Eddie Gossling - Alien Abduction(1:45)
- Eddie Gossling
- Eddie is not the guy you bring back to your planet.
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- Eddie Gossling - Corrections(1:51)
- Eddie Gossling
- Eddie can tell that he's dreaming if he has a job.
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- Eddie Gossling - Educating(1:11)
- Eddie Gossling
- If you're not getting good grades in Nebraska, try moving to Louisiana.
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- Eddie Gossling - Toilet Papering(1:31)
- Eddie Gossling
- Toilet papering never gets old.
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- Eddie Gossling - Catholic vs. Episcopalian(2:08)
- Eddie Gossling
- An Episcopalian priest gets stingy with the blood of Christ.
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- Eddie Gossling - Coloring(2:12)
- Eddie Gossling
- Eddie is cool with some coloring.
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- Eddie Gossling - Teapot(3:42)
- Eddie Gossling
- Eddie blows his top.
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- Eddie Gossling - Racing(2:33)
- Eddie Gossling
- Eddie Gossling is Seabiscuit.
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- Eddie Gossling - Political Impressions(3:17)
- Eddie Gossling
- Eddie whips out some impressions.
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