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- Important Things with Demetri Martin: Season One is now available on DVD. Demetri Martin dropped out of...Read on
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- Demetri Martin: Clearification(1:31)
- Demetri Martin becomes the test subject of an experiment that unclogs his fevered brain.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: Demetri Martin (45)
- Coolness - Behind the Scenes - Q&A Song(5:18)
- Demetri Martin stalls for time through a musical improv audience talk-back.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: Demetri Martin (45)
- Martin - The SAT(3:58)
- Demetri Martin shows the latest "advances" in standardized test prep.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: Demetri Martin (45)
- Preview - 3/21/06(0:36)
- Jon Stewart ends the show and previews tomorrow's top story.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: Demetri Martin (45), Trendspotting (10)
- Demetri Martin - Sort Of(3:23)
- Demetri Martin
- Demetri wonders what the most intelligent thing ever said that started with the word "Dude" was.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), Demetri Martin (45)
- Trendspotting - Life Coaching(5:37)
- A life coach will do for you, what Demetri Martin's basketball coach did for his sweet ass jump shot.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: Demetri Martin (45), Trendspotting (10)
- Demetri Martin - Findings(3:29)
- Demetri Martin
- Douche bags make up 15% of Hummer owners.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: Demetri Martin (45), hummer (3)
Some authors write in first person and others write in third person. But I'm writing my book in fifth person, so every sentence starts out with: 'I heard from this guy who told somebody....'
I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades, especially if your teammates are bad guessers. Game over means game over.
I like rock, paper, scissors -- two-thirds. Rock breaks scissors: these scissors are bent, they're destroyed, I can't cut stuff -- I lose. Scissor cuts paper: this is strips, this is not even paper, this can take me forever to put this back...
I like to stand near ATM machines, and when somebody types in their pin number, I go, 'Got it!' And then I run away.
I like staying in hotels because you can leave a message for somebody and you don't even need to know their name, just, like, a room number. 'Hey, can I get a pen? I just want to leave a message. My friend's in 710. Yeah, thanks.' 'Leprechaun's...
I saw a sign on this door; it said, 'Exit Only.' So, I entered it and went up to the guy working there, and I was like, 'I have some good news. You have severely underestimated this door over here by, like, 100%, man.'
I want to make a revolving door that says 'Pull' on it, just see how obedient people are.
It's very easy to turn a toy into an adult toy -- location, location, location.
A power nap is when you sleep on someone who's weaker than you.
I was walking down the street, and this guy waved to me. Then he came up to me and said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I said, 'I am.'
A quick way to start a conversation is to say something like, 'What's your favorite color?' A quick way to end a conversation is to say something like, 'What's your favorite color person?'
I like to do crafts. I work with glitter quite a bit. Don't worry, I make tough stuff like daggers and skulls. The thing about glitter is, if you get it on you, be prepared to have it on you forever 'cause glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
I think graffiti is the most passionate literature there is. It's always like, 'Bush sucks. U2 Rules.' I wanna make indifferent graffiti. 'Toy Story 2 was OK.' 'I like Gina as a friend, but I'm not sure about taking things further.' 'This is a bridge.'
