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- Dane Cook()
- Dane Cook
- Adam explains the secret to Dane Cook's success, and it ain't because of his smokin' good looks.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: Dane Cook (42), Adam Corolla (6)
I have some dreams. I wish I was a snake. I do. Did you ever wish you were a snake? Yeah, you do. I do. Every time I see snakes on TV, I'm like, 'Oh, why not me?'
Peace' is when you would shake the hands of all the people around you. The only reason you knew 'peace' was coming was 'cause the priest would say, 'Peace,' like five times, rapid fire. You'd hear him; he'd be, like, 'And the peaceful disciples...
You know what you were doing while [the priest] was doing his little peace rap? You were looking around for the people whose hands you were not going to shake. This was church, and you're like, 'No, f**k that guy.'
Women go there to dance. They get all ready in the mirror with their friends. They're like, 'I just need to go. I just need to dance. I'm serious, tonight -- no guys. Screw guys. I just need to -- I've had a rough week, and I just need to dance it...
Why do they call it the restroom? Is there anybody just resting in this room?
I'm going to tell you right now, please, when you use the Windex bottle, never put that s**t halfway. Always make sure it's lined up. There's no joke here. Don't do that. Bad things happen to good people. I know somebody here is gonna be like...
- Dane Cook - DVD Exclusive - Opening Shot(1:28)
- Dane Cook
- Bet you didn't know that Isolated Incident's opening sequence was inspired by Goodfellas.
- Videos Tagged: movies (559), observational (334), Dane Cook (42), ISolated INcident (11)
- Dane Cook - DVD Exclusive - Going Back(1:07)
- Dane Cook
- Dane has never watched Isolated Incident, because he doesn't want to spoil the feeling of the performance.
- Videos Tagged: observational (334), Internet (319), Dane Cook (42), ISolated INcident (11)
- Audio: Two Things(4:04)
- Dane Cook
- Guys want two things more than sex: to be in a heist and to own a monkey.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: fights (123), Dane Cook (42), monkey (14), heist (5)
- Audio: Mystery House(3:08)
- Dane Cook
- Dane wants a mystery house with weird hallways, pictures with no eyes and trap doors.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: Dane Cook (42), Marshmallow (4), haunted house (4), secret (4)
- Audio: Weird Guy At Work(3:05)
- Dane Cook
- Nobody talks to the weird guy at work -- except Dane Cook.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: work/office (398), Dane Cook (42), chocolate (10)
- Dane Cook Pukes(1:22)
- Dane Cook
- You're just puking and crying, that's all you can do.
- On comedycentral.com
- Videos Tagged: Dane Cook (42), crying (39), throw up (1)
- Dane Cook - Snake Dreams(2:24)
- Dane Cook
- Every time I see a snake on T.V., I say, "Why not me?"
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), animals (791), Dane Cook (42)
- Dane Cook - Flute Guy(1:48)
- Dane Cook
- Dane gives a look at the Civil War and how it sucks to be the flute guy.
- Videos Tagged: music (727), wars (467), Dane Cook (42)
- Dane Cook: Uncensored - 15 Cents(2:34)
- Dane Cook
- What the f*ck are you gonna do to help these f*ckin' kids?! They're playing in mud!
- Videos Tagged: gay/homosexual (633), Dane Cook (42), charity (37), Rough Around the Edges (4)
- Dane Cook: Uncensored - Pregnant(1:21)
- Dane Cook
- The flu is going around. You know what else is going around? Babies.
- Videos Tagged: Dane Cook (42), babies (16), pregnant (8), Rough Around the Edges (4)
- Dane Cook - Sneeze(1:58)
- Dane Cook
- Dane takes the brunt of a sneeze
- Videos Tagged: Dane Cook (42), Vicious Circle (4), Sneeze (2)
- Dane Cook - God Bless You(1:57)
- Dane Cook
- I said, "God bless you," but it kind of sounded like, "Cover your f**king mouth."
- Videos Tagged: religion (776), Dane Cook (42), Vicious Circle (4)
- Dane Cook - Hardwood Floors(1:59)
- Dane Cook
- If you're a cheater and you have hardwood floors, they taunt you.
- Videos Tagged: Dane Cook (42), relationships (15), Vicious Circle (4)
