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- Craig Shoemaker
- Named "Comedian of the Year" by the American Comedy Awards on ABC, Craig Shoemakers half-hour Comedy Central special has been voted by viewers as one of the networks Top 20 stand-up specials of all time. Craigs feature film credits...Read on
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I had a dog: half-pit bull, half-poodle. Not much of a guard dog, but a vicious gossip.
My mother gave me my driving instructions. I'm not such a great driver, but I can change all my clothes at a stop light.
I'd rather be a good liver than have one.
There is good news about a minivan. I'm telling you, you never get pulled over in a minivan. You could have a hooker strapped to your hood, doing Mach 5 -- the cops'll go, 'Eh, let him go. He's suffered enough, for God sakes.'
Sense of humor? That was number two. What a crock that is! I made some women laugh tonight; I don't see you all going, 'Mmmm, oh comedy boy, oh, talk about your minivan -- you're making me moist.'
You know who does it for her? Antonio Banderas. I swear, this guy gets my wife horny. He gets her all wound up. I rent all his movies; he does all the work for me.
I'm as hard as Final Jeopardy.
I was circumcised by a band saw.
Ever hear about this feng shui? It's an ancient Chinese word which means 'Put your husband's crap in the garage.'
- Craig Shoemaker - No Dad(3:08)
- Craig Shoemaker
- Craig's mother taught him everything he knows.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), kids (841), ethnic (814), religion (776), imitations (772), family (667), parents (525), driving (296), parenting (151), Craig Shoemaker (7)
- Craig Shoemaker - Feng Shui(3:30)
- Craig Shoemaker
- Feng shui is costing Craig his crap.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), men/women (1003), family (667), marriage (581), TV (543), driving (296), cars/trucks (95), housing (86), Craig Shoemaker (7)
- Craig Shoemaker - Family Dog(2:34)
- Craig Shoemaker
- Craig's wife has a different reaction to his dog's balls.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), men/women (1003), animals (791), family (667), marriage (581), dogs (156), balls (125), pets (57), Craig Shoemaker (7)
- Craig Shoemaker - Honesty(1:20)
- Craig Shoemaker
- Women overrate honesty.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1283), men/women (1003), books (748), marriage (581), audience interaction (303), lying (38), new age (34), Craig Shoemaker (7)
- Craig Shoemaker - Antonio(1:15)
- Craig Shoemaker
- Antonio Banderas gets Craig's wife horny.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1283), men/women (1003), kids (841), marriage (581), movies (559), self-deprecating (211), Antonio Banderas (11), Craig Shoemaker (7)
- Craig Shoemaker - The Love Master(3:49)
- Craig Shoemaker
- The Love Master passes on his gift to his son.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), men/women (1003), imitations (772), books (748), impressions (304), penises (117), toys & games (69), Craig Shoemaker (7)
- Craig Shoemaker - Giving Birth(3:11)
- Craig Shoemaker
- Craig's children can't pronounce their R's.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1283), men/women (1003), kids (841), imitations (772), family (667), gay/homosexual (633), growing up (453), toys & games (69), pregnancy (57), Craig Shoemaker (7)
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