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- Cory Kahaney
- Cory Kahaney doesn't write her own act anymore, but thanks to her precocious teenage daughter and her irritating relatives she never lacks material. Cory may be best known as one of the "final five" on this summers surprise hit "Last Comic...Read on
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How much does MapQuest suck? I got so burned by MapQuest. Last weekend, just for the hell of it, I typed in my address, 76th Street, and that I wanted to go to 77th Street. MapQuest told me to get on the Garden State Parkway.
I have a gay sister, which has been great for me 'cause my parents have now forgiven me everything. At this point, if I brought home a dwarf with a mohawk, six tattoos and a nose ring, as long as he has a penis, he can stay for dinner.
This is my second marriage, and I have a kid from my first marriage 'cause I like souvenirs.
In some ways, all men are the same. For example, why do you all like to have sex first thing in the morning? Do we smell good first thing in the morning? 'Cause you don't.
I know where my daughter is every night. She's with her friends. They come to my house, they go in her room, they close the door, and they light incense. I don't know what's going on in there -- like, I think there's a Zen Buddhist meeting in my apartment.
I don't really think anybody gets off properly in 69. Matter of fact, I think 69 is rude. It's rude. It's like saying to someone, 'Listen, we're gonna have sex, right? But we're gonna go Dutch.'
I met a guy in a bar, which is generally not a good idea. That's like going grocery shopping when you're hungry and you bring home stuff that you don't need.
I have a 14-year-old daughter. I had her when I was five.
I'm watching TV with my father late at night 'cause he doesn't sleep. And you know that commercial for 'Save the Children'? The one that comes on really late, where the lady goes, 'For the price of a cup of coffee, 67 cents a day'? My father and I...
Why do we need 24 handicapped parking spaces at Home Depot? Could we just talk about this? If a guy can spackle his bathroom, lay pipe and put up gutters, don't you think you can walk the extra 30 feet to the parking lot?
Halloween is pay day, folks. A lot of parents are strange; they say, 'Ration the candy.' I say, 'Let them eat as much as they want -- they throw up, the rest is mine.' That's how I handle Halloween.
- Cory Kahaney - Saying "F"(2:25)
- Cory Kahaney
- Cory gets in trouble for her daughter's foul mouth.
- Videos Tagged: kids (841), Premium Blend (750), marriage (581), parents (525), work/office (398), school (258), Cory Kahaney (13)
- Cory Kahaney - Sister(1:20)
- Cory Kahaney
- Cory's sister gets people out of Burma.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), gay/homosexual (633), parents (525), work/office (398), lookin' good (369), siblings (80), Cory Kahaney (13)
- Cory Kahaney - Second Marriage(2:17)
- Cory Kahaney
- Why do men like to have sex first thing in the morning?
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1283), men/women (1003), kids (841), marriage (581), sleep (105), Cory Kahaney (13)
- Cory Kahaney - Trouble(1:27)
- Cory Kahaney
- Cory's daughter got in trouble for saying, "F."
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), kids (841), imitations (772), school (258), parenting (151), teens (45), Cory Kahaney (13)
- Cory Kahaney - Save the Children(1:15)
- Cory Kahaney
- Cory Kahaney hates Shashumba.
- Videos Tagged: family (667), TV (543), parents (525), Shorties Watchin' Shorties (149), siblings (80), Cory Kahaney (13)
I married a lawyer, which I know sounds very impressive. Every girl dreams, when they grow up, they're gonna marry a doctor, marry a lawyer. But me, I had to marry the only lawyer in America with a conscience. I didn't marry the cutthroat,...
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Cory Kahaney (13)
I can't do anything too spiritual. As soon as it gets spiritual, I think there's gonna be Kool-Aid at the end and we're all gonna die.
Jokes Tagged:
health (734),
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- Cory Kahaney - Marrying Rich(1:53)
- Cory Kahaney
- Bald can be beautiful if you want to marry a rich man.
- Videos Tagged: sex (1283), men/women (1003), money (865), food (804), Premium Blend (750), books (748), dating (656), marriage (581), Cory Kahaney (13)
- Cory Kahaney - Lawyer(2:15)
- Cory Kahaney
- Cory married the only lawyer in America with a conscience.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), kids (841), New York City (602), marriage (581), work/office (398), Internet (319), travel (310), driving (296), Cory Kahaney (13)
