This comic legend, with his one-of-a kind-multi-octave voice, started his stand-up career at the age of 15, hit the comedy circuit full time at 18, and made his first appearance on "The Late Show with David Letterman" by age 20. With an...Read on
I didn't realize they were filming down there' -- that was her defense, right? You know, nothing's spontaneous in a major motion picture. They'd have to get a gaffer in, they'd have to light her vagina, they'd have to lay down dolly track -- 'And sparkle!'
They said, 'Hey, you gonna see the Stones?' And I said, 'If I wanna see an aging queen prance around to oldies for two and a half hours, I'll rent a Richard Simmons video.'
Gay bashing is guys going, 'I hate you 'cause you're a fag, and you're a queer, and you're kind of attractive, and I'd like to f**k you, but I'm in the closet, so I'll just beat you up and jerk off in my Trans Am on the way home.'
For a day and a half, the National Guard was here, and they didn't go to work. Do you remember why? No bullets. I found it really hard to believe that that was the same crackerjack unit that Dan Quayle once belonged to.