There were some things I liked about 'Titanic.' I loved the characters of the band. I wanted the whole movie to be about them. They went out of this life and out of this plane of existence, and they shuffled off this mortal coil, doing what they...
When I saw 'Titanic' there was actually some teenage girls behind me, like, bitching that it had a sad ending. When you're going to see a movie called 'Titanic,' you could pretty much factor that in. 'Oh my God, the ship is going to sink, that is...
Well, I saw that it happened again -- another postal worker went crazy with a gun. I think if the postal service had any balls, they would issue a series of stamps commemorating all the people who have been killed by mailmen.
I've got a parakeet. I've had him for, like, three years; I should know him. He always gets weird before a quake. Like, before this last one, he was in the car with the motor running.
One of the contestants actually gave this answer, and I'm quoting, 'If I could interview any historic American, I would have to say George Washington because he invented democracy, and democracy is awesome.'
For years, 'Star Trek' fans have been going, 'Don't make fun of us, we're just like normal people.' No, you're not! You're freaks! It's that show -- there's never been a mass suicide by fans of 'That Girl' or 'Green Acres.'
The best part of the Miss Teen USA Pageant was the interview question, the verbal essay question. That was great because the question was, 'If you could interview any historic American, who would it be and why?' Talk about a deer in headlights,...
I moved into a new apartment on the day that the looting and the rioting began. Perfect timing -- I'm carrying furniture through the street, so was everyone else.