Everything About 'Steve McGrew' | Jokes.com | Comedy Central

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  • Posted: 09/24/2004
  • Views: 7902
I love Wal-Mart, that's my favorite store. Yeah, I don't shop there -- I just go there when I'm depressed. You don't need Prozac. Just five minutes in there, you're like, 'Damn, my life ain't that bad.'
insults
business
shopping
mental health
This girl had a tube top that said, 'Hottie.' I was thinking, 'This bitch has a good sense of humor.' 'Sweaty' might have been a better word. I don't know how big she was, but she had a tube top, those little hip huggers -- looked like a can of biscuits popped open.
men/women
insults
lookin' good
weight/obesity
Tequila -- that's what makes you drunk right there; that's what'll get you drunk in the bar. You see, I think that's what the world's divided up into. It's not a man/woman thing or a black/white thing, it's a tequila thing. I think there're people...
culture
I look at divorce this way: it's better to have loved and lost, then have to live with that bitch for the rest of my life.
men/women
insults
marriage
I don't know why you ladies complain about nasty lingerie. It never stays on that long.
sex
men/women
fashion
Make you harder than a left turn -- downtown.
sex
men/women
Here's a little drinking tip for you ladies: if you're gonna drink, drink Jack Daniels. Ladies, you spend far too much money on cosmetics. For $12 bucks, you can have a man with a bottle of Jack going, 'God, you're beautiful.'
men/women
lookin' good
You're never too poor for good toilet paper. That's a law.
money
potty humor
I think men need to be married. Women are the other half of our brain. That's why God made us to be a couple. We come up with goofy ideas; the woman will think about that idea and the outcome and what can happen, stop you and save your life. That's why God made man and woman: 'Whoa, man! No!'
men/women
religion
marriage
I knew my parents had sex. I just didn't think they liked it.
sex
parenting
growing up
Just 'cause something's in style, doesn't mean everybody ought to wear it. I'm a fan of the tube top, but even a tire has a pressure limit.
men/women
insults
lookin' good
fashion