Everything About 'Rondell Sheridan' | Jokes.com | Comedy Central

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  • Posted: 07/17/2002
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  • Posted: 07/17/2002
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People always get mad at the dealers. It's not the dealer's fault; it's random luck that they dealt the cards to you. You know, my guy was trying to be good. He's like, 'Hey man, you get 'em next time.' I just lost $2,000! I'm like, 'Yeah, I'll have a gun next time. We'll be playing a new game.'
money
violence
You're just trying to make sure you don't get any hot water on your 'hooty-hoo' 'cause you can't blow on that -- you can't -- 'cause if you could, none of us would be at work the next morning.
sex
men/women
health
Just read in USA Today, they said that alcohol is the number one reason people go home with ugly people.
news & politics
lookin' good
I think the moment you're in a relationship, you should be supplied with your own court stenographer -- you know, that person that sits in the courtroom and types down every word that is said. How many of you in your relationship have ever had to...
men/women
dating
Women, you think we're complicated -- we're not. We're just a penis and two eyes, that's all we are.
men/women
I don't think you really and truly get to know someone until you sleep with them. And I'm not talking about sex, I'm talking about being unconscious in a bed with someone. Right now, all the married couples are going, 'That's the same thing, isn't it?'
sex
men/women
marriage
sleep
You ever wake up in the middle of the night, and you roll over and look at your mate, and the moonlight catches them just right, and you just want to gingerly reach over and smack the crap out of them?
dating
marriage
violence