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- Paul Provenza - In Case of an Emergency(1:57)
- Paul Provenza
- Dead passengers may also be used as flotation devices.
- Videos Tagged: flying (203), dark (84), Lounge Lizards (65), Paul Provenza (15)
- Paul Provenza - Psychokinetic Powers(2:25)
- Paul Provenza
- Stopping a clock isn't the same as stopping a train.
- Videos Tagged: death (336), physical humor (203), transportation (94), Lounge Lizards (65), Paul Provenza (15)
- Paul Provenza - Pet Cat(1:35)
- Paul Provenza
- If only humans could be as honest and expressive as cats.
- Videos Tagged: health (1026), animals (828), imitations (789), death (336), physical humor (203), culture (172), Lounge Lizards (65), Paul Provenza (15)
- Paul Provenza - Stupid People(2:47)
- Paul Provenza
- Everything in our society goes to the lowest common denominator.
- Videos Tagged: books (798), The A-List (487), America (473), education (253), Paul Provenza (15)
- Paul Provenza - Warnings(1:33)
- Paul Provenza
- Nobody pays attention to warnings.
- Videos Tagged: health (1026), The A-List (487), advertising (315), smoking (130), safety (58), Paul Provenza (15)
- Paul Provenza - Flying(3:13)
- Paul Provenza
- Airlines should try advertising in a more realistic way.
- Videos Tagged: food (866), imitations (789), advertising (315), flying (203), Lounge Lizards (65), Paul Provenza (15)
- Paul Provenza - Northern Exposure(3:34)
- Paul Provenza
- Paul gets some interesting fan mail.
- Videos Tagged: animals (828), drugs (699), TV (562), Pulp Comics (88), Seattle (22), Paul Provenza (15)
- Paul Provenza - Windex(2:32)
- Paul Provenza
- We pay the price for other people's stupidity all the time.
- Videos Tagged: health (1026), money (907), The A-List (487), business (260), education (253), lawsuits (75), Paul Provenza (15)
- Paul Provenza - Teach Masturbation(2:23)
- Paul Provenza
- America wants to find a way to keep kids in school, right?
- Videos Tagged: sex (1335), health (1026), kids (890), aging (310), school (266), education (253), Lounge Lizards (65), Paul Provenza (15), Joycelyn Elders (1)
- Paul Provenza - Safe Sex(4:48)
- Paul Provenza
- They should give condoms away in cereal boxes.
- Videos Tagged: sex (1335), health (1026), marriage (601), death (336), school (266), Pulp Comics (88), epidemics (26), Paul Provenza (15)
- Paul Provenza - Holy Loophole(4:00)
- Paul Provenza
- All Jesus does is bitch, moan and whine.
- Videos Tagged: sex (1335), religion (802), death (336), Jesus (281), Catholic (121), Pulp Comics (88), Paul Provenza (15)
- Paul Provenza - The Last Supper(4:05)
- Paul Provenza
- Religion is basically show business.
- Videos Tagged: religion (802), parents (534), Jewish (250), Pulp Comics (88), theater (28), Paul Provenza (15)
- Paul Provenza - Funny Ways to Die(2:24)
- Paul Provenza
- People shouldn't get so offended at jokes about death.
- Videos Tagged: TV (562), pop culture (340), death (336), Lounge Lizards (65), vacations (44), Paul Provenza (15)
- Paul Provenza - Modern Love Making(3:19)
- Paul Provenza
- These days, you have no idea who has what disease.
- Videos Tagged: sex (1335), health (1026), dating (675), marriage (601), death (336), Lounge Lizards (65), Paul Provenza (15)
- Paul Provenza - Vegas Is a Family Town(1:48)
- Paul Provenza
- Poker chips, pogs -- what's the difference, really?
- Videos Tagged: sex (1335), pop culture (340), Las Vegas (70), Lounge Lizards (65), gambling (65), new age (39), Paul Provenza (15)
I don't think I'm cynical. I guess I am -- that whole new age thing -- I can't. It's not for me. I found my inner child and sexually abused it.
I get peanuts on every flight. I'm on a plane -- all of a sudden, I gotta have peanuts? I go for months at a time without eating a peanut. What makes them think, 'We're in the air! Get them peanuts! Hurry!'?
I had a little row with the stewardess on the plane, flying in here. I made the mistake of calling her, 'the stewardess.' 'No, sir, I'm a flight attendant.' I said, 'Mm, actually, you're a waitress with a death wish.'
We're in denial about death. It's unbelievable. Did you ever see these people? It's called cryonics. They have themselves frozen so they can be defrosted when there's a cure for whatever illness they're suffering from -- greedy bastards. That's...
Jokes Tagged:
health (741),
money (431),
family (354),
technology (346),
death (170),
Paul Provenza (16)
If they taught masturbation when I was in school, I could have been the valedictorian.
