The year was 1974. The city was Houston, Texas. The baby was Megan Anne Mooney. The two crying people were her parents. In a small town in Texas the miracle was born. She was quickly shuttled home to her older brother and sister (Jimmy and...Read on
Why would your friends make you wear an ugly dress? Because it's their wedding, not yours. My friends weren't even nice. They're like, 'Could the dress show more back fat? Let's get these tighter.'
I'm from a big Irish family, which is cool. My parents had seven children, but I don't think they wanted seven kids. They're Catholic, so that means they love Jesus and hate four of us.
I have a niece that's an animal abuser. You ever see kids who love animals, but they beat the tar out of them? Right, she's like, 'I love the dog!' And then she'll tackle it and bite its ear.