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- Howard Kremer
- Howard Kremer has performed on Jimmy Kimmel Live and Comedy Centrals Premium Blend as well as at the U.S. Comedy Arts Festival in Aspen, the Montreal Comedy Festival, as part of the Comedians of Comedy and at top comedy clubs around the world....Read on
1-14 of 14 Results
- Howard Kremer - Letters to Celebrities(2:08)
- Howard Kremer
- Howard reads letters he's written to celebrities.
- Videos Tagged: Premium Blend (750), TV (562), pop culture (340), celebrities (259), Ben Affleck (29), Jennifer Lopez (28), mail/e-mail (25), Pamela Anderson (8), Howard Kremer (7)
- Howard Kremer - Sneezing(4:03)
- Howard Kremer
- If sneezing wasn't natural, guys would try to sell you Sneeze on the street.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1822), health (1026), animals (829), music (777), drugs (699), pets (58), hip hop (57), assassinations (28), Howard Kremer (7), black market (5)
- Howard Kremer - Matisyahu(3:37)
- Howard Kremer
- Everybody thinks they can rap thanks to Matisyahu.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1822), ethnic (840), music (777), family (697), gay/homosexual (665), marriage (601), movies (590), stereotypes (452), lookin' good (407), songs (323), Jewish (250), breasts (67), hip hop (57), midgets (8), Howard Kremer (7), Brokeback Mountain (2)
- Howard Kremer - How to Kidnap a Midget(2:05)
- Howard Kremer
- Get a hot slice of pizza and put it in the trunk of your car.
- Videos Tagged: health (1026), food (866), Premium Blend (750), drugs (699), crime (425), dark (84), LSD (13), midgets (8), Howard Kremer (7)
- Howard Kremer - I Heal With My Steal(2:48)
- Howard Kremer
- Dragon Boy Suede saves lives with his steal.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1822), sex (1335), men/women (1055), health (1026), music (777), songs (323), mental health (234), penises (134), hip hop (57), Howard Kremer (7)
- Howard Kremer - When I Can Summon Wolves(5:41)
- Howard Kremer
- Wolves to the front. Wolves to the back. Wolves circulating, waiting to attack.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1822), animals (829), imitations (787), music (777), family (697), dating (675), songs (323), hip hop (57), country music (13), Howard Kremer (7)
- Howard Kremer - Buy You Clothes, Do You in Them, Take Them Back(4:04)
- Howard Kremer
- It's kind of wrong, but technically, it's not a crime.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1822), sex (1335), money (906), books (798), music (777), crime (425), songs (323), audience interaction (319), fashion (242), shopping (206), parenting (163), Howard Kremer (7)
I recently bought a goldfish. It turns out it was epileptic. Weird thing is -- as long as I left it in the tank, it was fine; the second you took it out to play fetch, it was just seizure city.
Everything's got to be even. Like, if I scratch this hand, I've got to scratch this hand. If I tie that shoe, I've got to tie that shoe. If a celebrity adopts a baby from a foreign country, I've got to kidnap an American baby, fly it to that country and drop it off in Namibia.
I wrote a book recently. It's for kids whose parents put them up for adoption. It's called 'They're Just Not That Into You.'
My sister got married recently. She got married. It was great, but the entire bridal party was dressed in brown. It looked more like a shift meeting at UPS: 'Do you promise to get this package there overnight?' 'I do.'
Some rap and some country is just people with no schooling talking about exactly what happened to them that day. That's all it is. In country, it's like, 'I woke up, something bad happened, I got drunk.' You know, it's usually something like that....
We all know that midgets love pizza. That's what makes them so easy to kidnap. Here's what you do: you get a hot slice of pizza; you put it in the trunk of your car. You wait like five, 10 minutes, hide behind a tree, and that hungry little guy...
Dear Pamela Anderson, guess what two things are never on when I watch you on television: the volume to the TV and my pants.
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