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- Demetri Martin
- Important Things with Demetri Martin: Season One is now available on DVD. Demetri Martin dropped out of...Read on
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- Demetri Martin - Porcupines(0:54)
- Demetri Martin
- Porcupines are also skewers.
- Videos Tagged: animals (791), music (726), songs (298), smoking (126), alternative (101), Demetri Martin (45), Person (11)
- Demetri Martin - Handshake(1:53)
- Demetri Martin
- If you cut off Demetri's handshake, he will curtsey on your ass.
- Videos Tagged: sports (631), friends (312), alternative (101), Demetri Martin (45), Person (11)
- Demetri Martin - Stuttering(1:36)
- Demetri Martin
- There's a reason there are no B batteries.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), music (726), friends (312), alternative (101), Demetri Martin (45), non sequiturs (38)
- Demetri Martin - Doors(2:18)
- Demetri Martin
- Every door isn't heavy.
- Videos Tagged: animals (791), New York City (602), work/office (398), alternative (101), Demetri Martin (45), Person (11), Axe Curated (10)
- Demetri Martin - Material Enhancers(3:15)
- Demetri Martin
- Demetri Martin adds another set of wings to a hawk.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), food (804), animals (791), fashion (230), alternative (101), Demetri Martin (45), non sequiturs (38), puns/wordplay (12)
- Demetri Martin - Dude(2:30)
- Demetri Martin
- Demetri Martin is not a smoker, but he does carry a lighter.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), music (726), alternative (101), Demetri Martin (45), non sequiturs (38), performance artists (28), puns/wordplay (12)
- Demetri Martin - Tiny Garbage Can(1:17)
- Demetri Martin
- If Demetri left out tiny garbage cans, he would also leave a tiny sweater.
- Videos Tagged: health (976), imitations (772), insults (102), alternative (101), Demetri Martin (45), insightful humor (12), Person (11)
- Demetri Martin - Stuff on Guitar(3:43)
- Demetri Martin
- Cakes are the only food we write on.
- Videos Tagged: men/women (1003), kids (841), animals (791), music (726), gay/homosexual (633), parents (525), death (318), friends (312), songs (298), weather (130), alternative (101), one-liners (57), Demetri Martin (45), hippies (18), Person (11)
- Demetri Martin - Harmonica(5:09)
- Demetri Martin
- Demetri has never met a woman with a conditional identity before.
- Videos Tagged: men/women (1003), health (973), ethnic (815), music (723), technology (348), violence (302), songs (295), shopping (197), alternative (101), video games (68), one-liners (57), Demetri Martin (45), Person (11)
- Demetri Martin - Brick Wall(3:11)
- Demetri Martin
- Demetri Martin sets a more comedy club-like tone.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), food (804), fashion (230), parenting (151), alternative (101), Demetri Martin (45), non sequiturs (38)
- Demetri Martin - Magical Place(4:39)
- Demetri Martin
- Take a magical journey to the shire where Demetri Martin's jokes come from.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), music (723), alternative (101), Demetri Martin (45), non sequiturs (38)
- Demetri Martin - Fifth Person(4:06)
- Demetri Martin
- Demetri Martin writes the first book in the fifth person perspective.
- Videos Tagged: Premium Blend (750), books (747), sports (631), alternative (101), Demetri Martin (45)
- Demetri Martin - Stuff on Piano(3:33)
- Demetri Martin
- If you can't tell the difference between a spoon and a ladle, then you're fat.
- Videos Tagged: health (976), food (804), animals (791), music (726), crime (415), weight/obesity (302), songs (298), advertising (289), sleep (105), alternative (101), one-liners (57), Demetri Martin (45), sex toys (20), Person (11)
- Demetri Martin - Art(2:19)
- Demetri Martin
- You shouldn't scratch a CD or a boob.
- Videos Tagged: animals (791), religion (776), music (726), sports (631), crime (415), friends (312), songs (298), Jewish (241), alternative (101), art (71), Demetri Martin (45), tennis (16), Person (11)
- Demetri Martin - Findings(6:41)
- Demetri Martin
- Twenty seven percent of Hummer owners are pricks.
- Videos Tagged: men/women (1003), kids (841), animals (791), gay/homosexual (633), parents (525), alcohol (496), friends (312), travel (310), driving (296), school (258), culture (165), alternative (101), cars/trucks (95), siblings (80), Demetri Martin (45), douchebags (24), Person (11)
- Demetri Martin - Mytho-Zoology(2:59)
- Demetri Martin
- Mytho-Zoology is a crappy band from San Diego.
- Videos Tagged: animals (791), work/office (398), alternative (101), Demetri Martin (45), Person (11), mythology (11)
- Demetri Martin - Drunk Backseat Driver(2:31)
- Demetri Martin
- Don't make the same Halloween costume mistake as Demetri Martin.
- Videos Tagged: Comedy Central Presents (1821), alcohol (496), Christmas (261), holidays (222), one-liners (57), Demetri Martin (45), non sequiturs (38)
- Demetri Martin - Where Jokes Go(5:54)
- Demetri Martin
- Demetri's jokes go into outer space.
- Videos Tagged: money (865), food (804), animals (791), music (726), family (667), crime (415), technology (348), songs (298), space (158), alternative (101), siblings (80), one-liners (57), Demetri Martin (45), Person (11)
Some authors write in first person and others write in third person. But I'm writing my book in fifth person, so every sentence starts out with: 'I heard from this guy who told somebody....'
I used to eat there all the time, but not so much anymore, not since the time I went to use their bathroom, and I saw a sign that said 'Employees Must Wash Hands, Especially Carl.'
