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Jack tells his doctor how he can no longer sustain an erection.

After a complete examination the doctor tells Jack, "The problem is that the muscles around the base of your penis are damaged. There's really nothing I can do unless you're willing to try an experimental treatment. We would take the muscles from the trunk of a baby elephant and implant them in your penis."

The thought of going through life without ever having sex again was too much for Jack, so he agreed to try the treatment. A few weeks after the operation, Jack was given the green light to try out his new equipment. He planned a romantic evening for his girlfriend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in the city.

During dinner he felt a pain building in his groin. To release the pressure, Jack unzipped his fly. His penis immediately sprang from his fly, went to the top of the table, grabbed a roll, and then returned to his pants. His girlfriend was stunned at first but then said with a sly smile, "That was incredible! Can you do it again?"

''I can try," said Jack, "but I don't think my ass can take another roll."

Filed Under: sex (2379),  whatever (2379),  animals (947)
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Posted: 10/30/08

Tom Papa - Swimming With Dolphins

Dolphins don't want to swim with us.

Tags: Tom Papa (19), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1283)

Posted: 02/15/07
Views: 1,783

Greg Giraldo - Raising Kids

People always want to compare their dogs to kids.

Tags: Greg Giraldo (41), sex (1283), health (976)

Posted: 12/08/02
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Jeff Marder - Both Hemispheres of Your Brain

When cows laugh, does milk come out of their noses?

Tags: Jeff Marder (5), sex (1283), health (976)

Posted: 05/30/94
Views: 617

Jay Mohr - Massages

It's hard to get relaxed during a massage.

Tags: Jay Mohr (21), sex (1283), health (976)

Posted: 11/20/03
Views: 5,057

Bill Burr - Animal Population

Deer didn't put a hole in the ozone layer.

Tags: Bill Burr (27), sex (1283), animals (791)

Posted: 08/27/08
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Greg Giraldo - DVD Exclusive - Marsupial Sex

Given the choice of kangaroo sex and koala sex, you'd probably be wise to go with the koala sex.

Tags: Greg Giraldo (41), sex (1283), animals (791)

Posted: 10/14/09
Views: 1,071

Richard Lewis - Safe Sex

Condom wrappers are hard to open.

Tags: Richard Lewis (69), sex (1283), health (976)

Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 99

Mike Britt - Virus

Sex is not safe anymore.

Tags: Mike Britt (7), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1283)

Posted: 05/12/02
Views: 1,503

Mark Pitta - Back in 1981

If bands can do their greatest hits, so can comedians.

Tags: Mark Pitta (5), sex (1283), health (976)

Posted: 09/04/98
Views: 333

Jeff Altman - Politics

A vote for Ross Perot is a vote to buy Japan.

Tags: Jeff Altman (3), sex (1283), health (976)

Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 233

 
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