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Why I Am So Tired
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The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school, which leave 48 million to do the work.
Of this, there are 29 million employed by the federal government.
This leaves 19 million to do the work.
Four million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 15 million to do the work.
Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City Government and that leaves 200,000 to do the work.
There are 188,000 in hospitals, so that leaves 12,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 11,998 people in Prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me . . . and you're sitting there reading jokes.
John Heffron - Second Business
John's wife has him on call 24/7.
Tags: John Heffron (24), Comedy Central Presents (1821), marriage (581)
Posted: 01/11/07
Views: 4,768
Mark Pitta - Cool Whip
How busy could the Cool Whip hotline get?
Tags: Mark Pitta (5), food (804), imitations (772)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 1,465
Jackie Kashian - Salesman Father
It would drive Jackie's father nuts when she had to sell stuff for school.
Tags: Jackie Kashian (11), Comedy Central Presents (1821), kids (841)
Posted: 02/27/03
Views: 639
Charlie Viracola - Cable Strippers
Cable companies don't have the courtesy to come at a specific time.
Tags: Charlie Viracola (10), Comedy Central Presents (1821), money (865)
Posted: 05/15/03
Views: 832
Gregg Rogell - Cell Phones
Gregg Rogell's new plan lets him use his cell phone Mondays between five and seven in the morning.
Tags: Gregg Rogell (13), Comedy Central Presents (1821), terrorism (439)
Posted: 07/31/03
Views: 2,387
Dan Naturman - Job Interviews
The hardest part about the corporate world is the interview.
Tags: Dan Naturman (12), Comedy Central Presents (1821), work/office (398)
Posted: 04/14/05
Views: 1,096
Arj Barker - Wells Fargo
Citibank does not know how to spell "city."
Tags: Arj Barker (21), Comedy Central Presents (1821), money (865)
Posted: 03/30/06
Views: 3,440
Mike Birbiglia - Fat Tuesdays
Fat Tuesdays is not a comedy club.
Tags: Mike Birbiglia (39), Comedy Central Presents (1821), work/office (398)
Posted: 02/07/08
Views: 16,411
Andy Borowitz - Faster Food
How much faster can fast food get?
Tags: Andy Borowitz (2), food (804), observational (334)
Posted: 08/03/06
Views: 662
Ryan Hamilton - Inflatable Dancing Man
Car dealerships give away free hot dogs like it's no big deal.
Tags: Ryan Hamilton (3), imitations (772), Live at Gotham (332)
Posted: 06/28/07
Views: 2,130
