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Guided By Voices
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He ignores the voice. Later in the day, he hears the voice again. ''Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas.''
Again, he ignores the voice. Soon he hears the voice every minute of the day. ''Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and move to Las Vegas.''
He can't take it anymore. He believes the voice. He quits his job, sells his house, takes all his money, and flies to Las Vegas. As soon as he steps off the plane, the voice says, ''Go to Caesar's Palace.''
He goes to Caesar's Palace and the voice says, ''Make your way to the roulette tables.''
He goes to the roulette tables and the voice says, ''Put all your money on red 23.''
He puts all his money on red 23. The dealer spins the wheel. It comes up black 17.
The voice says, ''Fuck.''
Larry the Cable Guy - Class Reunion
Larry's brand new CD 'Tailgate Party,' filmed live in front of 53,000 people, is in stores now.
Tags: Larry the Cable Guy (35), sex (1269), family (664)
Posted: 09/21/06
Views: 13,430
Jon Reep - Fair Food
How far down the fry chain do you think they got before somebody thought of frying dough?
Tags: Jon Reep (18), sports (618), football (105)
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Views: 426
Vic Henley - NASCAR
NASCAR on the radio is even more boring than golf on television.
Tags: Vic Henley (8), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sports (618)
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Views: 2,275
Hugh Fink - Long Story Short
Sometimes people make long stories too short.
Tags: Hugh Fink (14), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1269)
Posted: 06/25/99
Views: 874
Shaun Majumder - Concave
You can still be a woman with small boobies.
Tags: Shaun Majumder (1), sex (1269), Premium Blend (750)
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Views: 837
Josh Sneed - NASCAR
Josh hates NASCAR.
Tags: Josh Sneed (10), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sports (618)
Posted: 03/29/07
Views: 5,356
Eddie Brill - Hockey Crowds
Being part of a hockey crowd is like preparing for an 18,000-person simultaneous orgasm.
Tags: Eddie Brill (8), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1269)
Posted: 06/12/03
Views: 356
Eddie Pence - Streakers
Eddie Pence knows what it would look like if he woke up in prison.
Tags: Eddie Pence (3), sex (1269), animals (783)
Posted: 07/20/06
Views: 1,556
Ron White - Rich In-Laws
Ron's in-laws are loaded, and they hate his guts.
Tags: Ron White (24), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1269)
Posted: 05/08/03
Views: 21,593
Ron White - Homosexuality
We're all gay to some extent.
Tags: Ron White (24), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1269)
Posted: 05/08/03
Views: 12,987
