Being a pallbearer's supposed to be an honor, but it's actually just heavy lifting.
Applebee's gives its waiters pins after they stay for two years.
People who think it's hard to finish college in three years assume that you finished with a degree.
Tommy doesn't know anything about babies.
He'll have that one...backwards.
Now it's Tommy's Time.
We win! He's dead! Where's my prize?
For Christmas, Tommy Johnagin's girlfriend got him shoes and he got her pregnant.
Jet Blue understands how horrible air travel is, so they shove distractions down your throat.
It's easy to die these days.