Bill Hicks: Ted Turner's News Grudge | Bill Hicks | Jokes.com

Bill Hicks Jokes
Bill Hicks: Ted Turner's News Grudge
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Watch 'Headline News' for an hour. It's the most depressing thing you'll ever do: war, famine, death, AIDS, homeless, depression, recession, drought, flood, pit bull, war, famine, death, AIDS. Then you look out your window, and it's like, where's all this stuff happening? Ted Turner's making this stuff up, man. Jane Fonda won't sleep with him, he runs to a typewriter -- 'By 1995, we will all die of AIDS. Read that on the air. I don't get any, no one gets any.'
Filed Under: sex (2379),  news & politics (616),  Bill Hicks (4)
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Posted: 02/24/92

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Bill Hicks polls the audience.

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People deal with trauma differently.

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Gay marriage could be the end of gay sex.

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Marriage is not settling down; it's very unsettling.

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